The Garden

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by namine, Jul 31, 2011.

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  1. namine

    namine Member

    Hi, this is the first poem I've ever posted on this website before. I'm a 17 year old girl and a back story (feel free to skip to the poem) to this poem is that I was best friends with this super religious guy a couple years older than me. He was in the same grade as me though (went to the middle east for two years with no schooling) and we became close as soon as he came to our school. After about 4 months we started having a "thing". I wanted a relationship, he didn't. He was constantly hypocritical because of how religious he was and he always put the blame on me for things as simple as kissing. He was abusive. We stopped talking after a year and a half and it was very difficult for me. But I met this other guy and we got along great. After 7 months of being best friends, we became bf and gf. It was my first real relationship and it really helped me get over the abuse I went through. About two months after I wrote this poem (here comes the happy ending...) my bf confronted the religious guy and the guy wrote me an apology note explaining why he abandoned me and accepting that he did abuse me and was only thinking of himself. Happy ending. But here's my poem now, sorry for the long introduction!

    The Garden

    Eyes are the window to the soul they say,
    But when I look into yours,
    Not often,
    In fact, rarely,
    I see my past
    I see a garden where my happiness once grew,
    But no longer thrives

    It's a dead place now,
    I was playing games in a dark garden
    And now I see fragments of a man I once knew
    Whenever I'm forced to look at you

    I was abandoned when I needed you most
    The knife you threw in my back,
    It must be poisoned
    I can feel the poison and venom in my veins
    The desire for revenge
    The desire for you to feel the pain you made me feel

    You cut me up for over a year
    But I wear my scars like badges
    For the war I once fought

    The same lies repeated from your mouth for over a year
    You were a mechanical satanic man
    Your grip on me was more than I could bare
    More than anyone should ever have to

    I couldn't feel for a while
    I was left in the garden
    This wasn't Adam and Eve's
    Satan is all that thrived here
    And he wouldn't let me leave

    You tried to spread your seed
    But i exposed your lies
    Your hypocrisy

    You're just a wicked man
    A man without a heart
    You're a fake
    Your soul is as corrupt as those you hate

    I use to see love in your eyes
    But that's all bullshit now
    Complete and utter bullshit
    You're just a coward
    You're a manipulator
    I don't know why I ever loved you

    But it's alright.

    The venom and poison have seeped out of my veins
    This is my last poem that I'll write about you
    My last effort to let others see
    The demon that's right inside you
    And i won't even say deep
    Deep inside you wouldn't be right,
    Because it's right at the surface
    Just itching under the skin
    And not many see it
    But I did

    Now I shake when i know I'm somewhere that you'll soon be
    And hearing your name makes me feel sick with weak knees
    And my brain, oh
    The memories they make me cry
    I've hated myself for so long
    You made me almost die

    But I digress,
    I think you're disgusting
    A sack of bones that keep preaching
    A sad excuse of a man
    And I feel almost bad for the new girl who've you got under your hand

    Because even though she knows what you did to me
    She's still with you
    I'm sure you convinced her otherwise
    Because that's what you like to do
    Manipulate, to use
    So I almost feel bad
    But she will soon know the truth

    I've moved on
    To new and better things
    Somebody who treats me right and loves me
    Just in time for Spring

    So now my garden grows anew
    And happiness again thrives
    New things are blooming
    But our love,
    It has fully died.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    aww hun i am happy you have taken the poison weed out of your garden and have replaced it with one that will help your garden thrive Don't look back now okay let it be you move forward Good for you for excaping the pain the abuse hun hugs stay strong okay you are free now hugs
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    That super religious guy aka your ex.. Shame on him; what a worthless piece of horse manure!

    I'm so glad you have gone from being best friends to bf/gf with your new BF.
  4. namine

    namine Member

    Aw, thanks you guys! It was a hard time. Caused a really deep depression and some intense suicidal thoughts. Very thankful to be where I am now. He was a very hypocritical Christian who used "sins" and the bible to guilt you and turn things around so it was your fault. I was blinded our whole "relationship". Very glad to be able to see how horrible it was now. My current boyfriend is great and has been supportive through the abuse, depression, suicide, cutting, etc. Great guy. Very understanding. :)
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