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The grass ain't greener on the other side

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So, Hey. I'm back again.

AASOfdnsdfnds!! d fgnsdf..

okay, that in english. = So, I had this girl. Who I dated seriously for awhile, and due to my health and other reasons- I broke up with. And now after a year and half, I somewhat got back together with her. And its like , I didn't think it'd come true and such. "too good to be true" but now its true, and I don't feel the same. That feeling that I longed for after the breakup, that feeling I had with her before the breakup, It just isn't there. Its not the same, I don't know what happened. But, she broke up with another kid so that she could be with me (though she was going to break up with him when she graduated in 3 months anyways). And I feel like shit, because I have what I wanted, and I got it. But I might have over estimated it. I say I love her, but every time I do I say it with meaning. But minutes later, I feel guilty- like right now. I got off the phone with her. Ugh, I feel like such a jerk..

And the whole depression thing ain't helping either (as i mentioned in my last LET IT ALL OUT! ). lol...

Seeing psych in a few days. Whippee.
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