The green monster

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Growing Pains, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    First thing's first... I don't know what I want from posting here. Validation? Advice? I'm not sure. I think the latter, but mostly I want to get it off my chest.

    The situation is probably simpler than I'm making it. I have an old friend, whom I've known since I was 7 or 8. Childhood, pretty much. She and I do have a history (we dated when we were 15 and 16, and then again at 16 and 17), and I did have feelings for her until about two years ago. The feelings have dissipated, and now I love her merely as a friend. She is still a constant in my life, and I value her friendship and don't want to lose it.

    Then there's my boyfriend, whom I've also known a fairly long time. I grew up with his step sisters and step brother, but he himself wasn't a constant in my life until he was about 8 and I was 14 (yes, I know that's a big age difference - but we are both of age now). I feel as though our relationship was kind of bound to happen, and I'm glad that it did. I have developed feelings for him, and I want to make this last.

    The thing is, when the friend is around guys - any guys - she has a tendency to flirt. I'm not aware if she is aware that she is doing it, but the flirtation definitely impacts how we behave around her. I am guilty of it myself, and she flirts with me, too. However, I did not become aware of it until I saw her flirting with my boyfriend. Now, though, jealousy is growing.

    I am aware that it is jealousy, but I am not sure how to respond to it. Being that I have been uninterested in a relationship for most of my adult life (I suspected I might be asexual, and even now suspect I might be gray-asexual), I have little experience in relationships. She is having her son's birthday party this Sunday, and I do want to go. I'm worried, though, that I'll get jealous again. I just don't know how to address it without offending her, but I worry that if I behave in a jealous manner too much around the two of them that it will start to affect my relationship with each respectively.
  2. booklovr

    booklovr Well-Known Member

    Probably too late to reply...
    But...u can try jokingly feighning possesiveness about your boyfriend...and make your message clear.
    She will get it...u can also slightly embarrass her..somehow..not too much just...u kno like bw frnds