The guilt is worse

[Labrynth]

Hi,

I am not sure if this is the right place to be posting this, apologies if its the wrong place.

Last Saturday I took an overdose. I really wanted to end things at the time, but (i can say fortunately now) it didn't work. Two days later on New Years Eve I told my mum about it. She got really angry and made me go to the hospital on New Years Day who said my Liver and Kidneys are fine and no damage was done. Ever since then my mum hasn't stopped crying much and has shut herself away in her room with the curtains closed. She will barely talk to me and won't do anything. I feel absolutely awful and torn up with guilt for what I have done to her. I have tried saying I'm sorry, promised never to do anything like that again, bought her flowers, but nothing is helping. I feel even lower now than I did before I took the overdose and half of me now wishes it had worked. I realise how selfish I sound and how selfish I have been, but now I have no clue what to do to make things better for my mum.

 

[Dave_N]

Hi Labrynth. Years ago my younger sister tried the exact same thing. She tried overdosing on <mod edit: resistance - details>, but fortunately we got her to the hospital in time and she recovered. Don't beat yourself up too much. Your mom will get through the grief. Try and think about how she must be feeling. Her daughter (or son) just tried to overdose. I think she's allowed to grieve, because she almost lost you. Give her some time, she'll get over it.

 

[Labrynth]

Thanks Dave. Yeah I realise how she must feel and that she has every right to react in this way. I can't believe I have done this to her. Thats what I am feeling so guilty about. At the time I did it, I wasnt thinking straight. I wasnt thinking about how other people would feel if I died atall. I was completely selfish. I know it sounds like I'm just wallowing in self pity here, I'm not, I'm just rubbish at getting across what I am trying to say! :rolleyes: I am sure time heals all.