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The hardest decision

Discussion in 'I Need Empathy and Compassion (No advice wanted)' started by Lulabelle, Feb 15, 2018.

  1. Lulabelle

    Lulabelle Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Today I've said goodbye to my beloved Ginger.

    She's been with me for 12 years. I can still remember the first time I met her, it was like a dream come true and love at first sight. I've slept with her in her stable when she's been ill with colic and she's been my best friend.

    But I haven't been able to ride her since last summer due to anxiety. Since Christmas I haven't been able to go to her yard unaccompanied so had to put her on full livery which is breaking me financially. I've been paying someone to exercise her for me three times a week but she's getting fat, lazy and temperamental. She's still young enough to need more than I can give, it's not fair on her.

    So today she has gone to live with her new family. I know she'll be looked after and loved as much as I love her. They're going to get her back to full fitness and back into competitions which she loves.

    But I feel like my heart is breaking.

    FB_IMG_1518362946780.jpg FB_IMG_1518362745152.jpg
    Angel368 likes this.
  2. Angel368

    Angel368 Well-Known Member

    Lovely photos, Ginger looks gorgeous. Hopefully you can hold on to the knowledge that she will be well taken care of. You did what was best for her.
    Lulabelle likes this.
  3. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    You are an ANGEL!!! I cherish a love like yours to her.
    Lulabelle likes this.
  4. Charliex8

    Charliex8 SF Creative

    *hugs* I'm so sorry you had to give up your beautiful horse. Anxiety is so cruel. That was very brave of you to make this decision...I've often wondered whether to give up my cockatiels, as my depression makes it harder and harder to motivate myself to spend time with them...

    You must be so heartbroken right now but you really did the best thing for her. I'm sure she'll always remember you and your love for her. Take care x
    Lulabelle likes this.
  5. Lulabelle

    Lulabelle Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I've been sitting all afternoon with one of her rugs so I can still smell her. I keep thinking I can hear her. I can't stop crying, can't believe she's gone. I never thought I'd give up on one of my babies. I've let her down so badly.
  6. na-taya

    na-taya Well-Known Member

    @Lulabelle you didnt let her down lovely you did the best thing for her at the moment you said it yourself it was a struggle to keep up with what was required to look after her well. However that will not make the heartbreak you have any easier and i am sorry you have to go through it. Cry scream if you have to, but hold your head high because you did the right thing and made one of the toughest calls possible, know i will be thinking of you at this hard time <3
    Lulabelle likes this.
  7. Alwayswrong

    Alwayswrong Well-Known Member

    YOU HAVEN'T LET HER DOWN AT ALL!!! Just the opposite. Only a LOVING person like you could have placed her wellbeing as a priority. I admire you.
    Lulabelle likes this.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Beautiful photos, your love for her is heart warming (hugs)
    Lulabelle likes this.
  9. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    As a real fur parent you did exactly what you should've, putting Gingers needs above your own wants. You're great for that & someone's we just have to do the *right* thing even when it hurts so so much. Its not a "lack" from you, its vision. I'm sorry about your friend, your beloved. She's going to be very happy. I bet the family will send you photos! Best wishes.
    Lulabelle likes this.
  10. I'm so sorry Lucy. There are no words. Just hugs
    Lulabelle and Alwayswrong like this.
  11. Heavens Heart

    Heavens Heart Well-Known Member

    I feel your loss I send hugs I can understand this I lost my bay mare at age 35 jesta was her name yes the incredible bond is like no other a true gift many hugs and love she is with you always and she understands in her remarkable way that they do her spuld is still yours
    Lulabelle and Alwayswrong like this.
  12. Casmir

    Casmir Member

    Love for an animal can be stronger than love for people
    Lulabelle likes this.
  13. Lulabelle

    Lulabelle Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Thanks everyone.
    I'm really struggling. I know in my head it was the right thing to do but...
    A guy with feelings likes this.
  14. Sand and Sun

    Sand and Sun SF Supporter

    @Lulabelle , I’m crying my eyes out reading your posts about Ginger. I love my two dogs more than I love anything in this world. I feel your pain. I feel your sadness. The unconditional love we give to and get from animals. @walkerbait95 is the voice of reason. I would give my dogs to a new home if for some reason I couldn’t care for them in a proper way but I pray I never have to do this. You are so strong.
    Big hugs and loving horse dreams to you.
    Walker, Lulabelle and Alwayswrong like this.
  15. brightlight

    brightlight SF Supporter

    Smile while you cry and turn sadness into joy, horse's are healers let ginger do her magic.
    Love and Light
    Walker, Alwayswrong and Lulabelle like this.
  16. Deety

    Deety SF Supporter

    Hugs, & like others have said, you haven't let her down at all. You put her needs above yours which shows your pure love for her and what an amazing person you are.
    Lulabelle likes this.
  17. Winter Blues

    Winter Blues SF Supporter

    Hi Lulabelle, Ginger is truly absolutely stunning and that’s all down to you. You have had to make a really heartbreaking decision but one you have made just for Ginger and I’m glad she will be loved and looked after well. I know she will never forget you. I hope you will be able to visit or they will send photos. Sending you enormous hugs xxx
    Lulabelle and Alwayswrong like this.
  18. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox SF Supporter

    @Lulabelle , you are amazingly strong and selfless and not many people would be able to do the same for Ginger, which were in her best interests. I am so sorry that you are no longer together but maybe some days you can visit together. There is nothing like losing a companion of long years and horses are among some of the most charismatic. Thinking of you. Many huggles.
    Lulabelle and Alwayswrong like this.
  19. Kiwi2016

    Kiwi2016 Forum Pro

    Oh Lullabelle I am so sorry that you had to do this...but as all others have said...your love for Ginger is shown in how you found her a loving good home. I too hope that you may be able to visit her. I know that there re no words that I can say to ease your pain but know I am sending you heartfelt hugs.