The hardest thing i've ever had to do (and am still doing ... )

[A.SoNiC.boY]

Is to learn to be yourself again. When you've made the choice to be what they want you to be. to fit their narrow standards, to be "perfect" for them... and then it ends. where are you then? well you're where i am now. i've been here for over a year and its been tough, some days i think i'm winning, some days it feels like i've lost me forever. Sometimes I still avert my eyes if a scantly clad female is on the screen of the tv or a movie. that one makes for weird looks from your male friends. I still find others self harm to be a "Normal" thing. it doesn't bother me in the least. i've patched up and cleaned my share of others mess. there's more but i wont bore you with a long drawn out thing tale of woe and all that stuff. If i can say anything, its to any of you who are heading to where i've been and where i am. its not worth it. to change who you are on any major level, just so some girl or boy will want to be with you more. They should want to be with you for who you are. and even if you change. the real you shows through. and even if it ends and it doesn't... who are you then. not you but someone else. someone who you may not really even know. and since we've all heard a MILLION times that we need to learn to accept and love ourselves... How do you learn to love yourself when you're a stranger?

Think about it.

 

[Sadeyes]

Great question...I have found myself on this journey, for different reasons...to not highjack the thread, I will summarize: was a fraud for all my young adult life because I felt so much shame and hated myself...I had to learn to hear my 'truer self', which was really learning a foreign language...keep working at it and know that whatever you find, expect to be imperfect, and try to hear yourself from a place of compassion

 

[A.SoNiC.boY]

:hug: for you J. I'm glad you seem to have found yourself again. and thank you for the kind words.

 

[Sardaukar]

You sir, are awesome, dont ever forget that, which just means that the real you, who I am sure you will find one day, must be AWESOME + indeed. You know where to find me if you ever want to chat or vent or something PROTIP: on skype :P

 

[TJ]

Ben , i admire your struggle to find yourself over the time Ive known you , and you are an amazing kind caring male whom im glad to have in my life.
i must say that im going thru a time in my life where Ive been so dis honest as to who i really am and have come to the point where i need to be true to not only myself but to others and its really hard.
i think that once we find ourselves it can be really hard not to change ourselves to fit for others because we feel that if we like there music there trend or what ever then we have a chance with them (relationship speaking) , on the other hand its important for us to be who we really are as at the end of the day its only us hurting ourselves.
keep up the awesome work Ben u are doing really well even when u feel like your not.

 

[A.SoNiC.boY]

thanks guys :hug: