**** the "Holidays"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whytryanymore, Dec 25, 2009.

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  1. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    I know im not the only one in the world that feels this way nor am i the only one on this forum that is posting about this, probably. Its complete bull shit how everyone is nice to everybody around this time of year like its gonna off set treating ppl like shit ther rest of the year. Im tired of everybody i know falling into this habit of fakeness near christmas, eitherbe a decent human being all year or dont bother ever trying cuz all your doing is lyin to urself otherwise. Im not ghandi or mother teresa by any means, hell im probably one of the worst ppl out there all year round but at least i know it and accept it i dont add to this bullshit stereotype of being nice around christmas will somehow help you get better shit or something. we are breeding a hopeless generation of materialistic whinng little shits that couldnt find their own ass if there wasnt some gps system on their fone to tell them how to. I ahve lost all hope not only in myself but in a majority of mankind, their are a few ppl that are still worth having around but id say that maybe one million ppl in just the us are ppl that know life is more than just getting the best stuff and money and it doesnt matter who you have to step on to get there. Now i know that im not one of these ppl that is worth saving, i am a stepping stone that is here just so ppl like that can see what rock bottom really is. I gave up on my dreams a while ago and god fordid that i ever have kids cuz id only fuck them up worse than me, ii may only be 21 but at least im realizing early on that any hope or dream i may have is always outside my reach either just barely or by a long shot. ive got too much debt to ever think about going back to college, and im too old to ever have a hope of actually making it as a musician especially since i cant even play the bass which is like the easiest instrument to learn. I got waayyy off topic but whatever maybe that is what i needed to say.
  2. HeliosZg

    HeliosZg New Member

    I agree with you on the part that people are nice to each other during christmas, like it's something that requires a reason. My parents and I have a bad relationship 300 days a year and these 4-5 days they try to smile and be different because it's the holidays, but if you don't play along, they go back to being themselves again. I've never felt support from them, I have BPD and have developed some stretch marks from working out (the only thing that kept me going) and now I'm even more depressed. During these holidays I sit in my room and go to sleep early, I dunno, there's no difference for me on christmas and non-christmas days. Still, let's all try and cope with it the best we can and give support to each other here if we can't find it where we live.
  3. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    YOu got a point there but its just the idea of it all that pisses me off.
  4. .Tom

    .Tom Member

    I felt nothing this Christmas. While everyone else was opening presents, I just sat there emotionless, then I went back to my computer where I spend my life.
  5. fisch

    fisch Well-Known Member

    Yeah, same here.
  6. whytryanymore

    whytryanymore Well-Known Member

    ANy chance i get i check up on this forum and my car forums, but today especially i hate the whole concept of the day. my dads wife is already in her extreme bitchy mode and im isolating to get away from her, but im not smoking so thats a plus. Its kinda sad that i spend so much time on this damn computer but sadly enough its the only place where ppl actually understand where im coming from and i can talk about what i want to without having to worry about offending someone or losing a friend over some stupid crap.
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