I am so close to the end now, have started writing my goodbye letters. I mainly feel numb now, the depression and the loneliness are still there but feel more out of body than anything else. Been running my final moments through my head over and over, need to make sure I have my bases covered. This will not be a suicide attempt, it will be a suicide so I need to make sure everything is done right. Its funny how all the positive attributes that I am know for: punctuality, attention to detail, assertiveness, dedication to my work are now going to be that which ensure my suicide is successful. At least no one can say I wasn't anything if not consistent till the end.