Im a fuckup im a loser, a lier, a junky, a depressive miserable apathic fuck.. but she loves me.. i cant really see why that is.. I cant go on for another 4 weeks without her. ill be a wreck when she comes home, and she will have to fix me up again, as always. everytime she goes away, i keep thinking about the "what ifs" eventhough i know, she would not ever screw me over like that. and if she did, i know for sure, she would tell me. and after all, I am the one who fucked up regarding matters like that. logically speaking, she has the right to that kind of liberty, eventhough i surely would kill myself, should this come to be. thankfully she does not know she deserves to know, i should tell her.. I mean after all i love her, more then life itself.. but then again im a fuckup, im a loser, a lier, a junky..