youve proven it once again. that you dont care. that no one does. anythign that i say to you falls on deaf ears. all i needed you to do was listen. but you didnt want to know, didnt care enough. funny thing is you probably have no idea - that if you had listened, even if you didnt care, you wouldnt have enforce the suicide option even more. do you know the only reason why i get up anymore is because i know that its all going to end soon. I have the pills already. im not going to fail this time. you could have listened, some one could have listened - not even the counselor will - becuase in the end, all i am is just pathetic scum. i know that i dont deserve to live - that i have nothing to offer this world, that it will benifit more from my death than from my life. i dont know what to do anymore; im not doing this of attention - if i wanted that i would have just told you - but i dont want to be stoped, ive come to that conclusion. its calming, soothing and compleatly distressing at the same time - but i know that i am going to go through with this. i just wanted to pretend that i existed, however slightly, in some ones world.