The irony

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by GoldenPsych, Feb 4, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    So i'm in hospital on a medical ward as of self harming and it's infected. But the urges to self harm are worse now than they have been in ages. Usually i can distract myself. I write. I go out. I watch a film. I can usually turn down the volume on the constant thoughts like a film going through my head. But being in hospital i've not been able to distract. I've tried reading but it requires too much concentration. So end up just staring at the page with it still running. I went off ward earlier with the purpose of self harming. Only thing i could find was a paper clip. I found it on the floor. How desperate is that? It didn't break the skin though. I've never had it like this before. Sometimes i do give in but i haven't got my usual tools. I've even started carrying a razor round with me just in case but it's in a different bag. It's stupid that i'm in hospital being treated for an infection on iv antibiotics yet i still look to do it. Explain that! I've even had 5mg of diaz but it's not worked. It's not even made me sleepy. Grr
     
  2. confusedgirl

    confusedgirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear your stuck in hospital it must be very fustrating and very boring
    Take the time to rest tho hun give yourself a rest n let everyone else run around n look after you! Hope you feel better soon xx
     
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