A
This is how life will be for me, once I have begun the process of exiting from this world :
I lay down, closing my eyes, realizing that momentarily, my existence from this world will cease to exist. That my life, the life which I have so desired for ever since I understood my dreams, the life which was denied to me by my disability and by society, the life which couldn't exist in the world, will live on the island. While still laying down, I begin to feel faint. Then, I feel a slight pressure in my eyes and in my mind. Suddenly, something grasps onto me, holding me tightly, yet I feel so comfortable relaxing in its arms. Yet, I can't see anything, feeling as though something is blocking my vision. Though still, I feel safe. I don't have any worries, just a calming feeling beyond any calm I've ever experienced in the world. This continues for a short while, until all of the sudden, light appears. I see nothing but light for a brief moment, until I feel as though I've gently been placed upon a surface. For a moment, my mind tries to make sense of where I am, where all I see is me, surface, and water. While looking around me, I then begin to understand.
I appear on a boat. How familiar it appears to me. I expect that I'll be walking through a door and placing my hand upon a linking book, which then would transport me to some other world. However, before I am able to do anything besides wonder, I see a being moving toward me. However, they don't walk toward me. Rather, they float toward me. The being, is someone who I wanted to appear as in the world. I really think that it is them appearing to me on this boat. Although, they then announce to me that they are God. Then, God smiles to me and explains to me about the reasons why everything is the way in which it is. God's only will being that of infinite free-choice of God's creation, in hopes that God's creation will live for God, rather than to live for the world. I'm also reassured by God, that I am forgiven for my sins and that I will be rewarded for the endurance which I sustained during my existence in the world, despite my suicide, which was when I could no longer cope with what had happened to me in the world.
God also explains to me about how God gave life to Adam and Eve, both who began the population of the world's people, and that once death from the world occurs, God's creation would appear in their personal waiting places, mine being on this boat, waiting to be transformed into a new body. My new body being the body in which God has been inhabiting while on the boat. God continues explaining to me about life and about heaven, telling me about how everyone will have their own personal heavens within the overall heavenly realm, many rooms within the mansion. Then, God informs me about the destination in which will be my new home for eternity. The place in which I learned about toward the end of my existence from the world. The island. A place of everlasting peace and prosperity. At the conclusion of those words spoken, God ascends into the sky. Then suddenly, I feel a remarkable change in my body. I feel such a rebirth, renovatio into something much better than before. Looking forward, I realize that I am home. The island awaits me.
The island is magnificent, the environment being abundantly beautiful. I can see the crystal-sparkled glittery surface waves of the ocean's crisp, clean water, swaying calmly. I can feel the light breeze of the wind, gently flowing through my hair, as I stand along the shore while looking around at all of the beauty which surrounds me. I stand steadily, without tripping over myself. I even can turn around swiftly, without a break in balance, without a single misstep causing me to sway off course, leading me to trip over and potentially fall down. The sky without a hint of pollution. Breathing in the crisp, clean air, as I inhale and exhale without any shallowness and without any hesitation in breathing, my respiratory system allowing me to freely take in the abundance of pure oxygen. Turning around and around without dizziness, while looking around, being amazed by the beauty which surrounds me. Seeing as everything is as it should be, I take the next step, without falter, while still intaking the oxygen flowing throughout my body, providing a refreshing abundance of energy for me.
As I step forth, whilst looking forward, seeing ahead from beyond the horizon, a majestic white horse, gallantly approaching me. Riding on the horse, is a very stunningly beautiful angelic-looking young lady. She steps off of the horse, and she approaches me, while she smiles a very kind, gentle smile, which makes me feel welcomed by her. Then, she speaks. Her voice, a beautiful harmonic-toned voice, kindly offers the island to me. Without any hesitation, I graciously accept her offer of the island. She continues to look at me, meeting with my eyes, a depth of love being shown through her eyes toward mine. She speaks again, telling me that she has been awaiting for me. I feel her love flowing through my spirit. I now know that she is my soulmate, my true unlikely heroine. Without my uttering a single sound, she tells me that she hears my spirit telling me this, realizing the very essence of me. I hug her, feeling her embrace me within her arms. Understanding the romantic connection between us, she proposes marriage to me, which also, I graciously accept.
I join her onto the horse, which then swiftly rides us away from the beach through the countryside fields of the island, while we watch the breeze gently flowing through the grass and the trees, as though the environment were waving at us as the horse rides on. When we arrive at the edge on a plateau of a hill, the horse then briefly stops, allowing us enough time to look around at the valley and at more hills, which is when I see our destination. A very charming Medieval/Renaissance/Tuscan - like village, which exactly is what I envision my favorite place to be. The horse then slowly rides along, down a slope, toward the village. Once there, crowds of people gather along the streets, graciously welcoming our arrival, all smiling, while their eyes show a genuine sense of blissful joy in the sense that we are there amongst them. Then, an old wise wizard approaches us from amongst the crowd, in order to inform us that preparations have been made for the wedding between myself and my soon-to-be wife. The wedding, to take place in a magnificent castle, surrounded by crisp, clean lakes and waterfalls. This castle, to be our home, forever, on the island.
I lay down, closing my eyes, realizing that momentarily, my existence from this world will cease to exist. That my life, the life which I have so desired for ever since I understood my dreams, the life which was denied to me by my disability and by society, the life which couldn't exist in the world, will live on the island. While still laying down, I begin to feel faint. Then, I feel a slight pressure in my eyes and in my mind. Suddenly, something grasps onto me, holding me tightly, yet I feel so comfortable relaxing in its arms. Yet, I can't see anything, feeling as though something is blocking my vision. Though still, I feel safe. I don't have any worries, just a calming feeling beyond any calm I've ever experienced in the world. This continues for a short while, until all of the sudden, light appears. I see nothing but light for a brief moment, until I feel as though I've gently been placed upon a surface. For a moment, my mind tries to make sense of where I am, where all I see is me, surface, and water. While looking around me, I then begin to understand.
I appear on a boat. How familiar it appears to me. I expect that I'll be walking through a door and placing my hand upon a linking book, which then would transport me to some other world. However, before I am able to do anything besides wonder, I see a being moving toward me. However, they don't walk toward me. Rather, they float toward me. The being, is someone who I wanted to appear as in the world. I really think that it is them appearing to me on this boat. Although, they then announce to me that they are God. Then, God smiles to me and explains to me about the reasons why everything is the way in which it is. God's only will being that of infinite free-choice of God's creation, in hopes that God's creation will live for God, rather than to live for the world. I'm also reassured by God, that I am forgiven for my sins and that I will be rewarded for the endurance which I sustained during my existence in the world, despite my suicide, which was when I could no longer cope with what had happened to me in the world.
God also explains to me about how God gave life to Adam and Eve, both who began the population of the world's people, and that once death from the world occurs, God's creation would appear in their personal waiting places, mine being on this boat, waiting to be transformed into a new body. My new body being the body in which God has been inhabiting while on the boat. God continues explaining to me about life and about heaven, telling me about how everyone will have their own personal heavens within the overall heavenly realm, many rooms within the mansion. Then, God informs me about the destination in which will be my new home for eternity. The place in which I learned about toward the end of my existence from the world. The island. A place of everlasting peace and prosperity. At the conclusion of those words spoken, God ascends into the sky. Then suddenly, I feel a remarkable change in my body. I feel such a rebirth, renovatio into something much better than before. Looking forward, I realize that I am home. The island awaits me.
The island is magnificent, the environment being abundantly beautiful. I can see the crystal-sparkled glittery surface waves of the ocean's crisp, clean water, swaying calmly. I can feel the light breeze of the wind, gently flowing through my hair, as I stand along the shore while looking around at all of the beauty which surrounds me. I stand steadily, without tripping over myself. I even can turn around swiftly, without a break in balance, without a single misstep causing me to sway off course, leading me to trip over and potentially fall down. The sky without a hint of pollution. Breathing in the crisp, clean air, as I inhale and exhale without any shallowness and without any hesitation in breathing, my respiratory system allowing me to freely take in the abundance of pure oxygen. Turning around and around without dizziness, while looking around, being amazed by the beauty which surrounds me. Seeing as everything is as it should be, I take the next step, without falter, while still intaking the oxygen flowing throughout my body, providing a refreshing abundance of energy for me.
As I step forth, whilst looking forward, seeing ahead from beyond the horizon, a majestic white horse, gallantly approaching me. Riding on the horse, is a very stunningly beautiful angelic-looking young lady. She steps off of the horse, and she approaches me, while she smiles a very kind, gentle smile, which makes me feel welcomed by her. Then, she speaks. Her voice, a beautiful harmonic-toned voice, kindly offers the island to me. Without any hesitation, I graciously accept her offer of the island. She continues to look at me, meeting with my eyes, a depth of love being shown through her eyes toward mine. She speaks again, telling me that she has been awaiting for me. I feel her love flowing through my spirit. I now know that she is my soulmate, my true unlikely heroine. Without my uttering a single sound, she tells me that she hears my spirit telling me this, realizing the very essence of me. I hug her, feeling her embrace me within her arms. Understanding the romantic connection between us, she proposes marriage to me, which also, I graciously accept.
I join her onto the horse, which then swiftly rides us away from the beach through the countryside fields of the island, while we watch the breeze gently flowing through the grass and the trees, as though the environment were waving at us as the horse rides on. When we arrive at the edge on a plateau of a hill, the horse then briefly stops, allowing us enough time to look around at the valley and at more hills, which is when I see our destination. A very charming Medieval/Renaissance/Tuscan - like village, which exactly is what I envision my favorite place to be. The horse then slowly rides along, down a slope, toward the village. Once there, crowds of people gather along the streets, graciously welcoming our arrival, all smiling, while their eyes show a genuine sense of blissful joy in the sense that we are there amongst them. Then, an old wise wizard approaches us from amongst the crowd, in order to inform us that preparations have been made for the wedding between myself and my soon-to-be wife. The wedding, to take place in a magnificent castle, surrounded by crisp, clean lakes and waterfalls. This castle, to be our home, forever, on the island.
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