The last few days

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterflyaway, Jan 16, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Butterflyaway

    Butterflyaway Active Member

    Its been a very bad week for me. Should have returned to work on Monday but couldn't. Slippery slide since then. Took some pills to help sleep to make it go away, them some more etc. I knew I was heading into a bad situation. Early hours of Weds and all the pills were gone (I had a lot). I live alone and first though someone had been in and was taking them. But I knew that wasn't true. It was me. I had done other things to myself which I wasn't really aware of and didn't feel the pain from them either. Phoned NHS Direct in the end to find out what the pills would do to me long term and was told I needed to go to hospital asap. I was very drowsy also. Because I wouldn't give my address (I didn't want an ambulance) she told me her job was on the line as it was her job to get my address from me and how I had put her in a very difficult position. I said I'd rather get a taxi than have an ambulance outside of my address but she said it had to be an ambulance in case I passed out on the way. I didn't go. Felt exhausted. I went back to sleep not really caring or thinking.

    18 hours later and I'm awake again, part of me regrets not calling a taxi (never an ambulance). I had the chance to speak to someone at hospital about all the things have built up inside me. Those things are still there. I wasted an opportunity for some help. I bottled out. What a waste I was and still am.

    Its clear to me now - I give up
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 16, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is clear to you now that you need to make that call and go to the hospital and talk to the crisis team there and get support. It is still available hun you just need to go and get it
     
  3. Butterflyaway

    Butterflyaway Active Member

    I can't do it now. It's too late. I don't want that anymore, not after today. But thank you for trying.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.