the last few days.

[Ritsu]

over the last few days I have had lots of urges to just end it I have been self harming more than I ever used to and not caring what happens next I guess the truth is I do not want to be part of the human race anymore I never wanted to be in the first place but its kinda sunk in now I believe I should not of been born human and what ever higher power there is out there has really screwed me over I just want to be free to run and howl at the moon like the wolf I am but I have to deal with work, bills, never being able to do all the things I want to do because the human race revolves around money which I despise too.

I do not know why I am saying this really I just I think I really am in trouble this time I was never happy with being human before but I used to be able to get by and be happy doing certain things and escaping reality in my own little ways but now nothing works.

 

[Angie]

:hug: I am sorry you are struggling. :hug: Just wanted you to know someone hears you are cares.

 

[may71]

I wonder if you could explain what is making you feel this way in better detail

so it sounds like work and money are big issues for you now, but you may be able to find some other work or living arrangement that suits you better

 

[Ritsu]

its not work or my living arangments its being human I hate being human I do not want to be human anymore I am a wolf I should of been born wolf but no I got stuck as a human.

 

[icequeen]

Ritsu: :hug: i want to so much do that to you. you gave me hope..BUT
what is stopping you being a wolf in human form?

you can be whatever you want to be...just because you look in the mirror and dont see what you think you should, look deeper..its there...if you want to be a wolf, then thats ok, maybe you are a wolf born in human form and its confusing. i am not patronising you, i am trying to make you see through the confusion.

you are a wolf, you stalk the forum, you watch and wait. maybe its not the physical wolf you have to be, but the mental wolf...stalking, watching, waiting ..which is what you do...you are a wolf!!! :hug:

 

[Ritsu]

awwww thank you ice I'm trying hon I really am.

 

[dazzle11215]

hi ritsu
i don't think i've answered one of your threads before but i read them all. you are a real inspiration to me and to many others here. don't give up. c'mon. let's howl together. awooooooooo

 

[mulberrypie]

ritsu :hug: i agree with dazzle. youre an inspiration! you know you can talk to me any time <3 awooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[Blackrose]

I am probably in no position to really be posting anything right now as I have only just joined myself.
I can relate to your post in a way only cos you sound like my husband. He hasnt actually said he was another being or any form, and hasn't as far as I can remember said he doesn't want to or in fact isn't human.
He is brought down however about money and bills etc too.
So much so that he cancelled our subscription without telling me and now I gotta sort something else out.
I think because of all the money, costs, and terrible things we humans do all over the world he probably doesn't want to be human deep down.

In any case you obviously have another issue as you feel you are a wolf. I won't pretend I'm not a little confused cos I am lol, but if that's who you feel you are then that is what you must be.
Maybe you can literally howl sometimes...it'll let your frustrations out and it'll feel good to be doing what you're supposed to.
I mean...maybe it's abit different from this, but you get people who are trapped inside another sex' body, you get spiritualists, why not this?
If this is truly what you believe you are then good on you and chin up. I may have only jus joined and got a ton of my own problems but I'll be here for you.

 

[Ritsu]

Awoooooo thankyou guys also the moon while not full tonight was gorgues I howled for a good long hour hehe.

 

[lancashirelass]

I am here for you hun i know how you feel.

 

[icequeen]

the moon doesnt have to be full either for me to howl...but maybe not in the way you do. dont deny yourself the howl...if that makes you feel safe and good...do it, all day..all night...it doesnt matter..just cos others may not see your wolf heart, dont hide it when it causes so much pain. howl, and howl again...if it keeps you with us i would howl for you. take care hun...and dont be ashamed of your inner wolf :hug:

 

[Ritsu]

to all and thankyou ice I am getting back to my self not SH all day yet.

 

[icequeen]

hope you had a better day today Ritsu :hug:

 

[may71]

:hug:

 

[lightbeam]

hoping you have a better day, ritsu.