The latest attempt....

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by lost43215, Oct 30, 2009.

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  1. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I posted this in my blog too... but here's the public post for all you's to know that... if you fail... you'll prob fail pretty hard.

    I have to say... that last attempt makes suicide seem like a really really stupid idea. I cant go into all the details about my attempt obviously, but I will share with u my pains.

    Well, I went to a city that was remote, got a hotel room for 2 days... that way they wouldnt find me the next day in case I just passed out. Spent the night at a strip club... I know, classy... but I wanted to do something fun and that I wouldnt feel ackward being all alone at. So did that till 2am, then stayed up rest of the time watching tv. At 7am, I was really really thinking about it, came to the conclusion that I had no more to live for, and then began my attempt. Well, that lasted maybe 1 min. Then, began what Im still recovering from. I had huge stomach pains, which basically kept me between the bed and the bathroom. I could barely stand for 10 seconds without needing to lie down. I was very cold, nausiated. But the pain was just unreal. By 11am, I had to force myself dispite my pain to check out (cause that's the time for that hotel), only get charged for 1 day, and go home. Course, when I got into my car, I felt so much in pain that I felt like I was dying. I do not want to die in pain. So, I tried to goto a hospital from what my gps said. I went to the one.... no emergency services. It took 6 painful min to drive there, and they couldnt help me. So then I had to ask where one was, which was 10 min away. Not only that but following one of those types of drivers that like to drive 10km below the speedlimit. Then get to that hospital... have to go all the way up to the top level of the parking garage because there were no other spots. Then, had to walk for like 2 min to the ER section. I had to wait prob close to an hour in pain sitting/laying on the benches with tons of people around me. It's kinda funny afterwards because I prob looked like the worst guy there. There were a couple people that actually commented on how bad I looked. I never actually admitted that it was all an attempt, but did explain what I had done. They put me on a bed finally, where I had to wait prob 15min b4 each doctor/nurse that I saw. I was the whole time basically curled up in a ball trying to keep warm and in agonizing pain. Finally after probably 3 hours from being at the hospital, they finally gave me some pain meds. In this case, they gave me morphine. Even that though could not calm the pain. It was just way too much. They only was I could get it down was by relaxing for several minutes. They eventually in the end gave me an xray, and then discharged me cause there was nothing else they could do for me. I got a prescription for some pain meds, and some food b4 I left tho. Btw... if you think hospital food is gross, your wrong. They had a cooked chicken leg with herbs, rice, carrots, some beef soup, some tea (tho I opted for cold water), and ice cream. The way home was about 3 hours drive normally, tho when you have to stop at every rest stop for 15 min... well, too longer. For yesterday and today, Ive just been curled up in blankets, or in the bathroom. I still couldnt stand for long... maybe 1 or 2 min at a time, therefore I couldnt even go out to get my prescription. I could barely even make something to eat... though luckily I didnt get sick from eating anything. So, since the hospital, I ate the hospital food, some chips and some corn yesterday, and some fibre waffles today. Btw... the fibre enriched waffles have an aftertaste as if you just ate straw, yummy. So today/now, I feel a lot better, but still have a rumbling tummy ache, tho it's not nearly as intense and is dying down. Not only that but I can stand/walk for a couple hours at least so. I think by tomorrow I should be mostly if not completely back to normal.

    So in the end, note to self and everyone else... it better be an instant death type method if anything because if you overdose or whatever that takes time to die, it will most likely not work out and you will go through pain. Even the instant death ones arent a guarantee, so I sugguest not even doing it because believe me, you do not want to go through what I did. Otherwise, if you still want to, try getting someone to kick you in the nether regions if your a guy or idk where, but whereever it hurts on a girl, prob a couple times a day, or at least so the pain continues, and then see if you still want to die, because that will prob be the pain you'll go through if you fail.
     
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Ouch. Well thanks for sharing your story Lost, I'm glad you got the help you needed and most importantly I'm glad you're still with us.
    I second that, overdose and pills are a ghastly way to go, the pain will be in the extremes and could last for anything up to a week (or more).
    Very very painful.
     
  3. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i wish i had read this before. if i had i don't think i would have done this. it is absolute agony. i hope people read this and don;t od its not a nice place to be
     
  4. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I have been there lost. ODing, HURTS... Not only that but after you take what you are taking, you have that "oh shit, what did I just do, what is going to happen?" factor (atleast I did). You think the medicine will numb your pain, but you are very wrong.

    It was 4am in the morning and I woke up with the worst pain I have ever felt (minus the pain of being unwanted, which made me do this in the first place).
    My stomach was so bad that I couldn't lay flat, my knees where up by my chest and I was rolling constantly to try and "walk it off." 4 hours later, I knew that I was in serious trouble because it was progressivly getting worse. If you think that sounds bad then try driving yourself to intensive care with that amount of pain. I think I was closer to a successful suicide just driving to the hospital. It was BAD... A shit load of morphine and an entire Sunday at the hospital later, and I had a new appreciation for perscription drugs... I can't tell you enough how stupid that was for me to do, and I felt even worse that I failed, but I don't think I will ever try that again.
     
  5. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Shit guys. The OD'ing stories are pretty scary. Strange thing is it's a lot of peoples method of choice. But this just shows you it's not really a good way to go.
     
  6. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    I ended up in ICU for three or more days I almost didn't make it. The worst for me was when the pumped my stomach and held me down. I was only found because a friend called I answered the phone and when they couldn't understand me the called the police. Its not fun. You think that would stop me from trying again. Nope have had my stomach pumped like 4 times and in ICU for all of them. Some one always finds me. The pain is unbareable afterwards.
     
  7. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    it is one of the worst things i've ever done and get this i've done it more than once. the first time i don't remember so much but the pain takes longer to go away now. for ages after an attempt i can't swallow pills for the fear that i will end up like that again and always get really bad stomach pains when i drink alcohol. i've never truly recovered from any of them, after the first i lost2 stone but it was because i was in so much pain i couldn't eat for weeks and i think i'm set to beat that this time.

    its not a method anyone should ever use
     
  8. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    I love you all ._. I think I'm being eaten alive by the darkness, I've never felt like this before, in my life.
     
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