the life i never had** may trigger**

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by the masked depressant, Apr 5, 2011.

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  1. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    the shattered face behind these walls

    the face you'll never see

    full of pain and suffering

    and full of misery

    sometimes i still wonder

    why i have to be so sad

    i'm constantly reminded

    of the life i never had

    each day i wake so early

    pretend that i'm all right

    no one cares to talk about

    the struggles of the night

    how my thoughts kept haunting me

    and how i slept so bad

    yet another cold reminder

    of the life i never had

    when weekend comes to signal

    the ending of a week

    and everyone is on the town

    acting like a freak

    i'm stuck inside my prison
    it makes me o so mad!

    but it's another cold reminder,

    of the life i never had

    the accademic year is on again,

    everyone's at school

    i'm at home comiserating

    the course i want is full

    it makes me feel so worthless

    it makes me feel so bad

    another cold reminder

    of the life i never had

    ever been on holiday?

    the beaches, o so bright

    sand and sea by daytime

    beach parties at night

    i never get invited,

    never get the chance

    i'll just stay at home and cry

    i'm in no mood for a dance.

    it's lunchtime at the cafe

    people they are free

    running round to get there lunch

    no attention payed to me.

    it's really not that fair

    and it's really not okay

    does no one at all want to hear me out?

    help improve my day?

    i've lots of thoughts all bottled up

    i'm keeping them inside

    it's getting harder to focus

    even harder to hidee

    but the truth is i'm alone,

    there's no one supporting me

    i know you've got your lives to lead, but i'm damaged, don't you see?

    i feel that i'm so broken

    feel like calling quits

    but i guess that's what you want to hear

    it really is, isn't it?

    at colledge i am trying

    to perform my very best

    paying no attention

    to the students wanting rest

    i know i have to work hard

    and know i have to pass

    but i simply can not focus

    on the current given task

    the day it seems so draining

    a minit seems so long

    i feel so weak and helpless

    really not that strong

    but i battle on like nothing's there

    nothing's there at all

    even though it feels like

    i'm banging against a wall

    when it comes to working,

    to get myself a job

    no one will employ me

    no one wants a slob

    so i'll just curl up in a ball

    i'll wait my turn to die

    and the life i never had

    is ending, by and by
     
  2. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    :hug: so well written, and so much pain, i wish i had the talent to express feelings like this
     
  3. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member



    i'm glad that you like it

    i write quite often- i'll post more
     
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