To me, death is something to look forward to. Im not dying to live I'm living to die! I hate capitalism, i hate business, i hate the fact that we have establishments making billions in profits yet there are millions who starve. I hate the fact that its good to talk but I cant trust ANYONE. Since to trust someone allows for ones trust to be broken. I hate the fact that people pretend to be your friend yet stab you in the back purley for short term sucess in thier career. I LOVE a girl to whom I cant express my feelings to. I let my friend go out with her and then I introduced her to another friend rather than making my move. During all this time we have still kept in contact and used to be best friends. My heart weeps every day for what could have been. I sometimes consider wheather I should tell her about how i feel. But knowing that it would leave my friend (her ex) heartbroken I refrain from doing so. I havent had a gf in years, mainly due to my attitude towards relationships. But i am becomming increasingly senstitive towards female expressions and body language. ...Long story short this has brought me to the conclusion that the only way to achieve eternal happyness is suicide. My first step will be to hand in my resignation before i have found a new job because I cant take it anymore. I have dreamt about suicide on new years eve....maybe it can happen this year?