The Lost Virginity Rule

[Lilly]

Until you have had sex and WANTED to be doing it, your a virgin.
If you are raped, your still a virgin after that.
If not then I lied to a lot of people about being a virgin before...I mean I dont count it as sex.
Sex is like something wonderful between two consenting adults who are doing it because they BOTH want to do it. THAT is sex. So if to lose ones virginity is to have sex then after being raped, your still a virgin.
Right????

 

[thedeafmusician]

it depends who you ask.

to me, i believe that this is true.

obviously if you had had sex previously (consensual sex) and then someone raped you, this is different.

 

[Firelord]

Exactly. You're still a virgin, you still have yet to give yourself to somebody. And I'll have word with *anybody* who says otherwise.

 

[me myself and i]

Sex is pretty easy really, its the bit that gets you to the bedroom door, thats more tricky.
I remember you, i remember your story from previous posts.
Virginity is just a word.
You are not.
Sex can be taken, love is given.
Virgin or not, its YOU and the inside of you, thats the bit that matters.

 

[dazzle11215]

i agree in principle.
but this implies not letting your current partner know about the rape
which i think is a bad idea
it is important to bring our full sexual histories to the table, even sexual abuse or rape
that way we are not "sweeping anything under the rug"
that way we take care with our partners and watch out for unintentional triggers.

 

[Jeserai]

Yes, that is exactly how I think about it.

 

[The Unforgiven]

Rape is not sex, it's just trauma.
You're still a virgin. Till the day and the moment you do it, fully wanting to do it.
:hug: