The lowest I've felt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Inadvisable, Nov 4, 2014.

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  1. Inadvisable

    Inadvisable New Member

    so my brothers's 18th was recently. My mother decided to throw him this big party which she failed to invite me to (how this happened i don't know since i still live with them). The day of the party came around and my brother let it slip asking if i was going. when i told him i didn't even know he was having on everything went down from there. My mother started screaming at me that she had told me about it but i wasn't listening (which she didn't!).I got a bit upset over the fact that he got a party for his 18th (not trying to sound like a spoiled brat) but I never got one when him and my sister did?
    Every thing has gone down hill from there. I find myself falling into the same habits of staying to myself, coming home from college and hiding in my room. The fighting with her just keeps getting worse. No matter what i do it's wrong and i keep getting screamed at. I shouldn't have to take this at 22 but i have nowhere else to go. She tried to kick me out on Halloween but I said that im sick of her kicking me out and if i leave this time she wont see me again.Like really why would she want me to go there wouldn't be anyone to take her anger out on.
    I haven't used this website in a long time but i always find it helps when i'm low, but this time feels different. I feel like i'm just ranting and nothing actually matters anymore
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps staying with a friend for awhile would help you You should not have to be the brunt of her anger you are so right. Perhaps in time when you can get a job and get a place of your own you can stay away from her toxic behavior Hugs to you
     
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Seems like you need a break from her. Sometimes they think they told someone in particular but really didn't
    It happens more than one think. It happened to me before my mother think she told me something and I never got the message until too late. Go figure.
     
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    How much longer until you graduate? I agree with the previous posters. That getting away from you mom would be bring relief. Can you get out on your own once you graduate? Maybe even sooner? And while you remain living with her, can you possibly stay away from the house as much as possible. Just use it as a place to lay your head at night.
     
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