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The Magic of Not Giving a F***

the.end.ish

Misknown Member
#1
Just watched this (warning: lots of fucks):


I think it has some good advice and might help some people declutter their minds.

My one critique - she puts it all so simply and maybe it is, but to me situations like those discussed feel more complex.

Don't give a fuck about your job because it makes you unhappy, you hate the commute and dislike your coworkers? Quit it. Just one problem ... there's one thing I do like (aka need in order to survive) that outweighs all three of those things... food, shelter, etc. You often end up in these situations because you feel trapped by fear of further hurting your well-being, not solely because you don't have the balls to quit.

Maybe there is some way you can implement the concept less extremely. Don't like your job? Look for others you may enjoy, once you find one, then quit it.

But I think on a smaller scale this is really helpful for interactions with people and your guilt and unnecessary obligations. Just consult your fuck budget. And learn how to be honest about it.
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
Man, i agree with this video and post so much. I used to be such an awful people-pleaser. I genuinely used to think that saying "no" was one of the worst things i could ever imagine doing. And that mentality led me to getting gaslighted, emotionally abused, creeped on, and pressured into a lot of things i never wanted to do and was never comfortable with. And the absolute best thing i ever learned to do for myself was get used to establishing my boundaries, saying "no", and acknowledging that what other people think of me isn't this all-important thing i must constantly strive to manage. Exactly as she described, i learned the value of not giving a fuck, or more specifically giving a fuck selectively, when it feels merited and for people who are worth giving a fuck about. It doesn't have to be rude to have your own boundaries, it's a sign of mental health.
 

the.end.ish

Misknown Member
#4
Man, i agree with this video and post so much. I used to be such an awful people-pleaser. I genuinely used to think that saying "no" was one of the worst things i could ever imagine doing. And that mentality led me to getting gaslighted, emotionally abused, creeped on, and pressured into a lot of things i never wanted to do and was never comfortable with. And the absolute best thing i ever learned to do for myself was get used to establishing my boundaries, saying "no", and acknowledging that what other people think of me isn't this all-important thing i must constantly strive to manage. Exactly as she described, i learned the value of not giving a fuck, or more specifically giving a fuck selectively, when it feels merited and for people who are worth giving a fuck about. It doesn't have to be rude to have your own boundaries, it's a sign of mental health.
Right, I think there's a lot of validity to opening yourself up to things you want to try that you're too anxious to (so I guess adding it to your fuck budget) but it's also good to respect your own boundaries, set them with people, and if they consistently cross your boundaries then take them out of your fuck budget. If they make you feel bad for setting a boundary then it's not even worth the struggle.
 

Human Ex Machinae

Void Where Prohibited
#5
It's impossible for me not to like someone who comes up with the concept of 'fuck bucks' and 'fuck budget'.

What she's talking about has been pretty much my philosophy for years. I decided to stop giving a fuck about everything that other people give a fuck about, and that I'm supposed to pretend to give a fuck about (like they do), just because society demands it (fuckciety?). I do what I want, when I want. I don't do what I don't want when I don't want to. If somebody doesn't like it, oh well. Maybe they shouldn't give a fuck.

My one critique - she puts it all so simply and maybe it is, but to me situations like those discussed feel more complex.

Don't give a fuck about your job because it makes you unhappy, you hate the commute and dislike your coworkers? Quit it. Just one problem ... there's one thing I do like (aka need in order to survive) that outweighs all three of those things... food, shelter, etc.
Yeah, it is oversimplified, specifically for the wealthy. If you've got a lot of money and you don't like your job, sure, it's easy to just quit and walk around on the beach in a bikini for the rest of your life. She's talking primarily to the relatively small number of people in her own socio-economic class, not to everyone else.
 

Ash600

Of dust and shadows
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#7
What she's talking about has been pretty much my philosophy for years. I decided to stop giving a fuck about everything that other people give a fuck about, and that I'm supposed to pretend to give a fuck about (like they do), just because society demands it (fuckciety?). I do what I want, when I want. I don't do what I don't want when I don't want to. If somebody doesn't like it, oh well. Maybe they shouldn't give a fuck.

Totally agree. It should be up to us who decides what, if anything, we give a fuck about instead of falling into line with the shithousery expectations of society all the time. That's how you get herd mentality developing and so diluting the power of individual thought.
I'm at the point in my life now where if I give a fuck, it's because I want to, not because I'm told to.

That was quite an interesting YT clip, some valid points, but as already stated, oversimplified in some cases and also partly directed to to those within the same socio-economic class as her. Wonderful dream to be able to just bail out from work, and substitute it for the beach instead. But that of course is more dependant on your monetary budget rather than your fuck budget.
 

Human Ex Machinae

Void Where Prohibited
#10
Totally agree. It should be up to us who decides what, if anything, we give a fuck about instead of falling into line with the shithousery expectations of society all the time. That's how you get herd mentality developing and so diluting the power of individual thought.
I'm at the point in my life now where if I give a fuck, it's because I want to, not because I'm told to.
Deciding what we give a fuck about is one of the very few things we have actual control over in this existence. To hand that power over to 'society' (Society = Many, many assholes, all together) is lunacy.
Forgot to quote you!
 

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