It's been awhile since I have posted here. I am at a crossroad, fifty plus in a hotel room, a long way from home for six months. I want to kill myself...no shit.... WTF...... How I GOT HERE and the down hill slide that brought me here is a long story. I have the means. Look at other humans and just seem to be a different species. Have no connection with anyone and no way to connect. Have tried in my own,, somewhat inane way but it never works. Death equals peace and relief from my torchered exististance. It's like I have lost my desire to live in this world, I am just a post note to the past and its time to go.