The Med Question - My Thoughts

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Freya, Mar 2, 2014.

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  1. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Disclaimer: This is my opinion only, based on my own experiences. I am putting it out there for discussion, not as facts or suggestion that I am right.

    Lots and lots of people I have talked to here refuse to try meds or insist that meds do not work. Until the most recent set of meds the doctor prescribed, I too was of the mind that meds don't work. I have been on and off anti-depressants for nearly fifteen years and I never felt any different on them to off them. I came to believe that this meant my problems could not be addressed with medication. That I was not sick - my life just sucked. Nothing a doctor could do about that

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    I have come to believe instead that there are two things at work here. I am going to call them The Situation and The Black Hole.

    The Situation: Some people have a good Situation; they are surrounded by people they love, who love them. They have enough money, job satisfaction, challenge, adventure, friends, security... whatever it is that people want or need. Some have a bad Situation; bullying, abuse, loneliness, destitution, homelessness, illness... bad things. Many many people (most people) have a Situation that is somewhere in the middle.

    The Black Hole: For me this exists just below my lungs and just above my stomach. I can physically feel it. It sucks in good feelings and leaves this painful empty place inside - a vacuum I have to fight all of the time just to prevent myself from collapsing into it - imploding. I imagine this is different for different people, but the point is that it sucks away good feelings.

    Some people don't have a Black Hole. They don't have the demons of depression leeching away their happiness. If you have no Black Hole, your Situation can still suck and you can still be miserable, but changes you make - they make a difference to how you feel. If you DO have a Black Hole, even the most amazing Situation can be irrelevant if your Black Hole is big enough that it is sucking away all the good feelings.

    What I believe is this:
    • Meds cannot and will not help The Situation. Therapy can, but meds will not. Only YOU can help The Situation.
    • Nothing you do to help The Situation will take away The Black Hole. If The Situation is great you can feel 'full' for a while (I have been there in the past two years a couple of times) but it is not sustainable while your Black Hole is not being dealt with.


    It takes a long time to find meds that will stop up The Black Hole - but it can be done. Stopping up The Black Hole will not magically make you happy. If you have no Black Hole and your Situation still sucks, you will still be unhappy. But WE can do something about The Situation. Meds don't "fix" your Situation, but they make it so the efforts you put into improving your Situation for yourself are not wasted by them being sucked away by The Black Hole.

    When people here say "see a doctor" they are not suggesting that our Situation is all in our head or can be resolved with a handful of pills. They are suggesting that we might have a Black Hole. And while we have a Black Hole, nothing we do about our Situation is going to stick.

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    It has taken 15 years (admittedly only of intermittent trying) to find a medication that makes a difference to my Black Hole. It is not perfect and I need to see the doctor again. My Situation, for the most part, blows. That is on me. I have hope that if I work with my doctor and stop doing self destructive things like not taking my meds (stupid Lu) I can deal with my Black Hole - and that will give me the space I need to improve my Situation.

    Ramble over - lol
     
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Freya, you surely are articulate. I do not doubt for one moment what you are referring to. I am not sure that I have a black hole. I do not think I do. But I also do not doubt for a moment that my situation is no less harmful etc than yours. I believe what you said :Only YOU can change the situation. I agree, for myself. I do not know about other people and their situation. But for me it is true. I may not be able to heal things. But I surely, with great tenacity and diligence can shift things to a certain degree.

    Again, you are SO articulate. You are a very good writer. I am glad you have found a way that helps you with the black hole which seems to be,as you described it, in the solar plexus.
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    This train of thought is an excellent example of how things interact between physical situations and mental conditions. It has put in words a way to look at the two separately while acknowledging they are inexorably connected. I agree that no amount of changes to ones physical situation will ever be enough if the mental situation ( or black hole) has gotten to a certain level. That is why people from all walks of life from uber rich and famous, to normal married or single free spirited, to the most poor and abused commit suicide and suffer from depression and unhappiness. Until the emotional/mental situation is under control there will never be a way to make the material or physical situation good enough to be satisfied or happy.

    I really like the analogy to a black hole that simply devours everything poured into it and lets nothing back out. It shows true wisdom that is so hard for most people to see. So often here on the forum and in life in general people hold onto the completely false belief of what it is they need "to be happy" thinking that if they had more money, different family, better job, girlfriend, or whatever else - then they would be happy while completely failing to see the people around them or on here with those things that are still unhappy and failing to make the connection that having it will not change or solve their depression if the "blackhole" or mental situation is not treated.

    Treating the mental situation is a must if that is a component of the sadness. As you correctly pointed out, it is not always the case, and I will say "treating it" can be meds, therapy, or even just personal awakening or adaptation sometimes - there are many methods available to treat this - but failing to recognize it or refusing to admit it is there is an almost insurmountable obstacle and no changes to situation will ever compensate enough.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts Freya

    Take Care and Be Safe

    - Ben
     
  4. Adam

    Adam SF Supporter

  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I can definitely relate to this, although I am not sure I have a black hole. I would describe my black hole as a loose wire that malfunctions every now and again. I have found a medication that helps to stop my loose wire from malfunctioning. I can feel the difference in myself when a situation is causing me to feel depressed or manic or whether the wire has become faulty.
     
  6. Kabukicho

    Kabukicho Member

    I have a Black Hole and it has grown bigger and more voracious as time takes its toll. As I experience the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." As life breaks me down.

    God knows I've tried everything to fill it. Drugs work for me. That's about it. Nothing else comes close to working.

    Philosophically, I've come to accept it. I don't really believe in God or any spiritual world at all. I think humans evolved by mistake and our brains (some of our brains) simply cannot cope with the nihilistic horror of existing in an uncaring universe. Camus was always famous for saying that the universe was "benignly indifferent," but I don't think I can agree. It's not "benignly indifferent" because human desires (desires for safety, security, happiness, spiritual fulfillment) all work completely in opposition to the wills of the universe (chaos, entropy, dissolution, decay).

    The point is that our Black Holes stem from that cognitive dissonance between human desire and universal indifference. Some of us feel it more acutely than others. How rigged the game of life is. How it's all just a black, black joke that we never signed up for. We were forced into this existence by the sex drives of our parents. It's an obscenely cruel arrangement that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
     
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