I've been in and out of the mental health system for about 7 years now, and I have to say I'm at a point where I feel like it's broken. In my opinion, it seems more designed to make careers for some people than it is to actually help people. Don't get me wrong...I think those people who work in it often enter it wanting to help people, and I think they try...but if they don't succeed, they seem prepared to wash their hands of you, or even look for an excuse to make it look like you're not willing to put forth the effort to help yourself. Today I met my social worker, and mentioned something to her in passing that I know I've talked about...and she says to me "that's new...you've not mentioned that in a while." And though that seems so innocuous of a statement, the reality is that it really felt like what she was saying was "you're making that up." I mean there's a lot of things that are second nature to me because I do or experience them everyday...if I'm not mentioning it, it doesn't mean that either it didn't happen or hasn't been happening...so her reason for saying that is a bit of a mystery to me, but if anything what it's doing to me is making me retreat further into myself. And add to that a psychiatrist that constantly reminds me that the old psychiatrist I had should have remained burdened with me leaves me feeling so beyond hope! I've done pretty much everything I've been asked to do...and I have the memories of some pretty nasty side effects as proof of that...but I feel like now I'm practically being dared by the vary health care network supposed to help me...to attempt to end my life. But while governments and charities are contributing money to fight mental health challenges, all I see is the groups that used to be offered at the offices where my social worker is...have been replaced with more offices for more employees...while the groups themselves are no longer offered! It seems like a make work project with some very well meaning people...who have less to offer those in need of help! I'm sure that both the psychiatrist and my social worker would disagree with my assessment of the way I'm being treated...but given how I can count on my one hand the number of times in the past couple of years that my social worker has been on time for an appointment, and I can count on my one hand the number of times I've been late for an appointment over the same period of time, it's hard for me to not see all of this as an example of how low priority those of us who are struggling with mental health conditions seem to be!