The mind and friends

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Yoyogirl86, Aug 9, 2016.

  1. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    Hiya All
    How are you all? Just wondering if someone is repetitively being ignored at social groups and are mostly alone. Would the brain/mind eventually subconsciously say enough is enough and without realising allow someone to not turn up?

    Only because I am in the particular situation at the moment where a group of people ignore me every week and I'm left using iPhone for company. Also I become very anxious because in the past and in the present moment people have never bothered turning up when I want to meet them in town and given me a fake mobile numbers.

    Is it possible the brain is overprotective, how can I get round this?

  2. cren

    cren Well-Known Member

    i've learned to just fake a smile when i'm with company.. sometimes i just laugh at their jokes even if i don't understand it at all.. or just nod as if i know what they're talking about because it seems they've neglected to tell me what's happening again.. i think i get used to it.. until eventually i'm the one finding ways to get out of being invited to going out..
  3. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I think in situations like that, your mind will consciously tell you enough is enough. It is rude and it is ignorant to constantly ignore someone. But its also very difficult sometimes for a individual to "break into" a social group of long standing. Being the new guy, the outsider, is never a easy situation and can be stressful and make a person [like me] very anxious.

    Anxiety makes a person overly protective because of something called Avoidance. To help reduce/stop the anxiety, you avoid people or situations that make you anxious. So a lot of the time, its a symptom of anxiety/stress/depression or other mental health issues that is "protecting" you. A good one for you to google is Fight or Flight response. It gives some great insight into how the brain responds in certain situations.
  4. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    Hi Yoyo, I am Mox

    Maybe you need to change the people you hang out and find new people like using or someother website.

    Trust me I know where you are coming from with whole being ignored by the group situation. It sucks. I have been let down by other people a lot, I know it hurts.

    Have you thought about maybe seeing a psychiatrist and to get some medication if you feel like it is serious enough?

    Take Care of Yourself
  5. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    The thing is that in my area there's nothing much to do, there's not many groups that are easy to get to don't cost a lot of money and also something I am interested in, a lot of the groups in my area aimed at older persons, learning disability, under fives, kids/ teenagers and people who like a lot of drinking. I have tried the meetup groups and it seems to be the same people i know that turn up. I live in a town where everyone knows each others business. but I think I am gonna stick with my online groups then that way i feel safe and I don't have to face the outside world.
  6. moxman

    moxman I am proud to call Rosie, my best friend =) Forum Pro

    I hate that you feel that way; at the same time I understand why you do.
  7. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    but I think I am gonna stick with my online groups then that way i feel safe and I don't have to face the outside world.

    There is some sense in doing that right now until you are ready to try again. Its just a bit of self preservation and we all resort to that at some point. When you feel excluded, theres only so much you can take before it becomes tiresome and a little time ot wont go amiss. Just dont fall into the trap of isolating yourself, that is counter productive and will only make things worse in the long term.
  8. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    I just don;t want to be hurt by anyone, part of me thinks i am being logical because I am saving myself from future harm. if i stay at home although it doesn't fix the problem it. it makes me feel safe i know that I am not gonna be hurt by anyone however i am social person and need that connection
  9. Flaxney

    Flaxney Well-Known Member

    Have you considered volunteer work? That might be a constructive way to meet people. I think that persistence is the key here.
  10. Yoyogirl86

    Yoyogirl86 Well-Known Member

    I am already volunteering at a place that gives me no joy, no pleasure absolutely nothing i am a volunteer slave
  11. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Yoyo girl, I am in the same situation. I can relate so much to what you wrote. Ive been ignored and bullied since elementary school, been betrayed and abandoned by "friends", people never approach me and my fsmily and even my bf blame me for it.. I am just so tired of everything and everyone, I cant trust people, however, being both surrounded by people and alone give me anxiety and feelings of loneliness and sadness