The only thing that works for me, for brief periods, is to wrench my mind away from negative stories about the past and the future that I'm constantly telling myself, and focus instead on the moment I'm actually experiencing, which is the only thing that's real. When I'm able to do that (not always), it's like a magic pill that banishes most of the pain for a little while, and doesn't produce constipation as a side effect. It doesn't last for long, the negative stories are a black hole that constantly tries to drag me back. Like Michael Corleone said, 'just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in'. But focusing my thoughts works, for a few hours, sometimes a whole day. It's just a matter of realizing when I'm getting sucked back in and then having the stamina to haul myself away from the black hole of negative storytelling again.
After a lifetime of depression, my life is in a very negative place right now, one that's very real, nothing fictional about it. The stories shaped the reality and then that altered reality in turn generated even more potent stories, and so on, in a perpetual feedback loop. So I have real problems that aren't going to go away simply because I focus my thoughts on the nice cup of coffee I'm drinking, the sunshine coming in through the window, and the amazing fact that I'm not being stalked by a mountain lion, or having barrel bombs dropped on my head. But the moment pill eases the pain. It wears off, but there's a free lifetime supply.
After a lifetime of depression, my life is in a very negative place right now, one that's very real, nothing fictional about it. The stories shaped the reality and then that altered reality in turn generated even more potent stories, and so on, in a perpetual feedback loop. So I have real problems that aren't going to go away simply because I focus my thoughts on the nice cup of coffee I'm drinking, the sunshine coming in through the window, and the amazing fact that I'm not being stalked by a mountain lion, or having barrel bombs dropped on my head. But the moment pill eases the pain. It wears off, but there's a free lifetime supply.