the more i avoid this, the more it haunts me it seems ><

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by The Scream, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    for some weird reason, during guitar class a few mins ago, the topic was abuse

    no connection at all...

    i hate to tell people im abused

    they go like awww, im sorry you had to experience that, blah, blah... and then there's the awkward silence... like i killed a topic they were so interested in exploring...

    i fucking hate it when people ask me if i was abused at a social scene... like WTF... like they either want too awwww me all together well FUCK THEM

    or i just have to be the one that puts on a dark sphere everytime...

    and he asked it, like he knew it already...

    i didn't know how to answer...

    eventually, i just made a joke about it, we all laughed and i waited for the topic to change, which didn't -__-"

    the best i try, to not get involved in such topics, the more they follow me it seems...

    at school they wanna talk about it

    my GP wanted to talk about it

    but i FUCKING don't
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The best thing to say to these people is that topic is not up for discussion that is between me and my therapist and leave it at that No not up for discussion lets move on to other things hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    thanks for your reply total eclipse :hugtackles:

    guitar class was the last place i would have expected such a topic to come up ><
    when i hear the word abuse i already start sweating >< i wish i could talk about it the way they all can, but i can't ><

    it was a bit of a relieve he asked it once, when people keep on asking my voice gets all weird and after a while i start crying... i'm glad that didn't happen...

    the last time i experienced that wasn't even that long ago, a few weeks or so...

    it really sucks
  4. Romancer

    Romancer Well-Known Member

    i discovered that the more you hide it the more people want to know. and if you don't want to talk about it, they bring it up and usually act all nice, so you open up. *sigh*
  5. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    true... but them acting nice only frightens me even more for some weird reason ><

    somehow i believe the only way i could ever talk about what happend all relieved would be if someone slapped me in the face and asked "what the fuck is wrong with you?" XD