The most embarrassing moments...

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Rogue1

Active Member
#1
> Message A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition
> to find the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following
> are the final 4
>
> 4th Place
> While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
> some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold
> of her after receiving looks of disgustand annoyancefrom other patrons. I
> told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be
> punished.
> To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
> kissing Daddy's Willie last night!'
> The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the
> tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity
> and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I
> heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.
>
> 3rd Place
> It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
> parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
> for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
> telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give
> her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call,
> we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
> stairs,> the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled
> 'SURPRISE'
> My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
> friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
> in a state of shock and Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
> Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
>
> 2nd Place
> A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
> up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
> Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public
> address system and boomed out for the entire store to hear 'Price check on lane
> TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the
> store apparently missunderstood the word 'TAMPAX' for'THUMBTACKS' in
> a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
> system:> 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT
> IN WITH A HAMMER?'
>
> 1st place
> And the winner is........ This one happened at a major Australian
> University in October last year in a biology lecture, a professor was
> discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.
> A young female, raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand what you are
> saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male semen as in sugar?'
> 'That's correct.' Responded the professor, going on to add some
> statistical data.
> Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste
> sweet?'
> After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor
> girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently
> said, she picked up her books, and without a word walked out of the
> class, and never returned.
> However, as she was going out of the door, The professor's reply was a
> classic.
> Totally straight faced, he answered her question.
> 'IT DOESN'T TASTE SWEET BECAUSE THE TASTE-BUDS FOR SWEETNESS ARE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND NOT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.'
 
#9
I liked the second one. I don't think I could have lived after that happened.

The one that won would be something I would say. I'd have told everyone, "Bitches, the only reason I know it's salty is cause yo mama told me so."
 
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