> Message A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition > to find the most embarrassing moments in listener's lives. The following > are the final 4 > > 4th Place > While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release > some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold > of her after receiving looks of disgustand annoyancefrom other patrons. I > told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be > punished. > To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you > kissing Daddy's Willie last night!' > The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the > tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity > and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I > heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter. > > 3rd Place > It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my > parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over > for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the > telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give > her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, > we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the > stairs,> the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled > 'SURPRISE' > My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my > friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot > in a state of shock and Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. > Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again. > > 2nd Place > A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got > up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. > Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public > address system and boomed out for the entire store to hear 'Price check on lane > TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the > store apparently missunderstood the word 'TAMPAX' for'THUMBTACKS' in > a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address > system:> 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT > IN WITH A HAMMER?' > > 1st place > And the winner is........ This one happened at a major Australian > University in October last year in a biology lecture, a professor was > discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. > A young female, raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand what you are > saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male semen as in sugar?' > 'That's correct.' Responded the professor, going on to add some > statistical data. > Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste > sweet?' > After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor > girl turned bright red and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently > said, she picked up her books, and without a word walked out of the > class, and never returned. > However, as she was going out of the door, The professor's reply was a > classic. > Totally straight faced, he answered her question. > 'IT DOESN'T TASTE SWEET BECAUSE THE TASTE-BUDS FOR SWEETNESS ARE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND NOT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.'