Ever since I was very young i have been exposed to this evil idea. Could there be anything more evil? It is the most insidious of all delusions. There is no such thing as romance. It sells a lot of merchandise and it seems to make some people happy, but it is a lie. All my life i have observed the world. I see plenty of sex, but no love. My own mother, when i lived with her chose this over me. I guess i shouldn't blame her. There was no work for me to find and i was a burden. The man was controlling and crude, a rube with no sense of the world and no understanding of anything beyond his tiny microcosm of macho stories and drunken parties and bar bands. His swaggering, tough talking musings may charm a certain type of person, but to the wise they reveal the frightened coward within. One night, shortly after he moved in, one night was particularly enlightening. I was in those years so haunted by death that it permeated all my thoughts. All things pointed to it and my mind was torturing itself with despair. That one night there was the dream. I remember few dreams i have and all the ones i do all had significant images. The first part involved an old image from my childhood. My grandmother had an old wildlife encyclopedia and there was one very striking photo of a lizard. It was a profile view it seemed to have a devilish grin with its sharp teeth and its sticky tongue. I had a dream of this lizard accompanying this image was that of four onion knights (a video game character google it if curious) they attacked the beast, their arrows flying toward it. the first part of this dream ended with the lizard snatching one of them with his tongue, the little knight floated dead down a organic tunnel and soon was bones, and then was nothing. The next image i remember i am on top of a skyscraper with an agent from the matrix i was hanging from the edge of the tower with a single hand. The suited figure spoke to me i cannot remember exactly what was said, and it was not in any voice from the movie at least i dont think it was something like this: "I am death, no matter how you evade me, no mattter how many times, i will always win" then i fell i felt the horrible feeling in the stomach you get when you go over the first hill on a roller coaster. I woke. I was sweaty and disturbed. My thoughts on these images were interupted by the noise in the far end of the house. I will spare you the details but suffice to say my mother was in bed with this man I still despise. I wont be able to forget my mother calling to god in his name for as long as I live. Guess we all have our own reasons for what and whom we choose. The images from the dream and the following event got me thinking about the truths of being a living creature. being human is not really different, we have over sized brains, but that is the only difference. maybe our delusions are our evolutionary defense against insanity. Our minds evolved, but no species could be prepared for such trauma. because of a certain series of genetic mutations all things previously mercifully unknown became known. but we cannot hide. we have to accept them. The delusions served their purpose. they kept us from destroying ourselves out of despair in a time when there was no science and little true wisdom. Now is the time for our species to mature, to cast aside our delusions. romantic love, religion, all of them. not only will we be happier but we will be more powerful. and maybe after a few millennia, the things that torture us will just be another evolutionary challenge to overcome.