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the need for physical touch

do humans need physical touch of some kind

  • yes it is a vital part of life

    Votes: 46 61.3%
  • it can be helpfull

    Votes: 17 22.7%
  • no we dont need it but its nice sometimes

    Votes: 5 6.7%
  • no not needed

    Votes: 2 2.7%
  • no not needed and i dont want it

    Votes: 4 5.3%
  • unsure

    Votes: 1 1.3%

  • Total voters
    75
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Not open for further replies.

justmeonlyme

Long Time SFer
Chat Pro
#1
does any body ever just wish someone would hug them? just hold them and tell them everything will be ok? that someone would cuddle them and protect them?

lately i have had a great longing for any sort of physical touch i dont really understand the thoughts ive never felt this need so strong before...

do you think that people need some form of physical touch to stay mentally stable?

im sorry if this post doesnt make much sence
 

hornbeam

Well-Known Member
#2
Oh it does make sense to me just - I have gone with "it can be hepful"- sometimes its all we need - hence the hugging clubs that they have.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((just me)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sorry is only virtual hugs
 

1izombie

Well-Known Member
#3
I have felt this way before (and sort of still do at times), i think it was more out of envy and jealous on my part as I longed for what others had I and never had that for myself(and still haven't) ...to be close with someone and share intimacy with them...to really connect, not only mentally but, physically as well...i think I wanted to feel validated or feel worthy somehow, like if someone were to hug and hold me that somehow I'd feel like im not a waste and have value to someone. It's kinda up fucked up way to feel i guess...putting so much value in one thing... I remember reading in a psychology book about a case study when some king believe babies spoke their own language and if left alone they would be able to develop it in to a full fledge language. So he commanded that a bunch of babies be kept in a room together and the only interaction between the babies and their care takers, was when feeding them and washing them and changing them all other interaction was forbidden...the result was babies started dying because of the lack of interaction including physical touch...so I think its important to have that touch in our lives in order to be healthy, and I can see why people have the need for physical touch. We are social beings and part of being social is touch...this is the best i can do :hug: not the same i know...
 

justmeonlyme

Long Time SFer
Chat Pro
#4
Oh it does make sense to me just - I have gone with "it can be hepful"- sometimes its all we need - hence the hugging clubs that they have.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((just me)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sorry is only virtual hugs
thank you :hug:

I have felt this way before (and sort of still do at times), i think it was more out of envy and jealous on my part as I longed for what others had I and never had that for myself(and still haven't) ...to be close with someone and share intimacy with them...to really connect, not only mentally but, physically as well...i think I wanted to feel validated or feel worthy somehow, like if someone were to hug and hold me that somehow I'd feel like im not a waste and have value to someone. It's kinda up fucked up way to feel i guess...putting so much value in one thing... I remember reading in a psychology book about a case study when some king believe babies spoke their own language and if left alone they would be able to develop it in to a full fledge language. So he commanded that a bunch of babies be kept in a room together and the only interaction between the babies and their care takers, was when feeding them and washing them and changing them all other interaction was forbidden...the result was babies started dying because of the lack of interaction including physical touch...so I think its important to have that touch in our lives in order to be healthy, and I can see why people have the need for physical touch. We are social beings and part of being social is touch...this is the best i can do :hug: not the same i know...
think i have read something simalar. no not that same but thanks :hug:
 

hornbeam

Well-Known Member
#5
Im glad you posted about the babies Steeb - because this came into my mind- i remember being told this before.

I think that when you are young - you can be fed - taught how to behave - dressed in clean clothes... but if you havent been understood or been able to talk about how you feel - you are in a worse situation than someone who has had the above-----(((hugs)))
 

FBD

Well-Known Member
#6
A hug will almost always calm me down, depending on who gives it. I actually saw a cartoon thing once that said something along the lines of if you hug a woman for 20 seconds endorphins release that relax her. now im not sure if theres any real truth to that, but a good hug will relax me
 

jasonkramer

Well-Known Member
#7
does any body ever just wish someone would hug them? just hold them and tell them everything will be ok? that someone would cuddle them and protect them?
this would be nice, but admitting it in western society as a man could get you ostracized or worse. women are the weak fragile creatures that need to be held and protected not men! well ya know what society FUCK YOU!

i imagine having someone around to hold would be nice but not everyone was meant to be close to other people. sometimes you just have to accept that you will be alone for your whole life (having a superiority complex dose not help). the good thing is though sense i have felt along all my life, it will be easier for me to cope with solitude than someone who is use to being with other people.

i envy and congratulate those of yo who have other people around you.
 

Push

Well-Known Member
#9
I voted yes because it does help me feel better when I am touched or when I feel connected to my husband which is usually when I get touched.

But here's the catch when I'm feeling bad I push people away so I am not touched then I can spiral out of control. Like for the past couple of months I try to avoid anyone's touch at all. I don't want the intimacy.
 

SAVE_ME

Well-Known Member
#10
I'm always thrown slightly off guard when somebody touches me in some way like hugging or something. Just cause I'm not use to it. Like yesterday, I was at this charity gig my brother and his band were performing at, and this lady comes round with a collection bucket and I put a bit of change in and she gives me like a "thank you" hug which I was a bit taken aback by...I guess because I've always thought in my head that any emotional gesture is like a sign of weakness or it's "dirty" or "icky" in some way...so I back off. But sometimes, small things like a hug can go a long way. I mean, yesterday I was feeling a little anxious and depressed so after the initial shock, it actually cheered me up a little......

......but if I'm like that with a hug, God knows what I'd be like if I ever had sex lmao
 

Mr Stewart

Well-Known Member
#11
This is embarrassing but when people touch me I have to make a considerable effort not to flinch. I can handle a handshake or a hug as long as the contact is brief, but if the person is the type who likes to hang on a little bit longer than usual, I will become extremely uncomfortable and breathing starts to get difficult. If it's a situation that requires me to force myself to make eye contact, I will stare right above or below the other person's eyes instead. Sex is totally out of the question. I feel on the edge of panic... I don't really know how to describe it. No clue why I'm like this, no plausible answers from childhood or anything like that.

*waves hello to thread from comfortable and safe distance* :unsure:
 

Stranger1

Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
#12
After being isolated for over twenty years, I beleive it is not needed.. It is nice to get a hug now and then..But for real it doesn't matter.
 

Arthur523

Well-Known Member
#13
Physical touch is great, whether just a hug or kiss, and it's even better when it's with someone that you truly love I think. I'm not at all desperate or anything, but I might have to call up a hooker within the near future. :sax
 

sunshinesblack

Well-Known Member
#14
yeah a good part of people is they physical unconscious, one hug makes more than a thousand words
also in the inbetween the physical and emotional theres this thing called strokes theory where interacting with others is made into a pyramid of influence levels, where amongst lowest is walking into a crowd or saluting or having eye contact and highest is intimacy
also i think some people r prone to a sort anorexia in this department
 
Last edited by a moderator:

QuadLazer

Well-Known Member
#15
I don't feel comfortable if people touch me, even friends and family. I guess it's just a symbol of care, but it feels intrusive giving or receiving hugs (even if someone asks you for one).
 

foreverforgotten

Quiet Observer
SF Supporter
#18
never hated being touched or hugged or anything.
just never was used to it. havent ever had much of it..
it makes me nervous when people hug me
or touch me (extremely rare anyways) but i like it ^^
if i had more of that in my life i wouldnt be here. lonliness kills.
There are some days when thats all i need is someone to
hug. i used to wish my therapist would give me a hug, and debated asking.
but who asks for a hug? its just a weird thing to ask. >:
 

icequeen

Well-Known Member
#19
i dont think its vital but can be soothing and comforting. last year or so i dont like much human contact, mental physical or social and i do shrink if anyone tries to hug me or hugs too long, just want to shake them off.

i guess it depends where we are how we react to anything
 

Fitzy

Well-Known Member
#20
There are some days when thats all i need is someone to
hug. i used to wish my therapist would give me a hug, and debated asking.
but who asks for a hug? its just a weird thing to ask. >:
I have asked a therapist for a hug and got one - I don't think it's weird. I used to have good colleagues who I could ask for hugs. I really miss hugs and I'm desperate for one!!!!!
 
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