the night before

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Moose, Jan 24, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Moose

    Moose Well-Known Member

    Hello all im back again..

    Im basically writing this to say sorry and if she reads this to tell her everything that happened.

    I was sitting on my window ledge (on the outiside) thinking at about 11:30. i always to it when i want to think. I kept seeing this vision. And hearing Andy Chappers telling me all those things. Taunting me. I screamed "SHUT UP ANDY" and let my self fall. I landed on my shed roof. I wasnt expecting to land on my shed roof. I was hoping i would fall to my death. It wasnt a big fall but my face is really sore- Great she just came on...wish i could tell her.. anyway. i cried on my roof for a while. Then i started to laugh. and i started to feel really strange. I got up and climbed over my fence. It started to rain. I seen the vision again and andy taunted again. I felt as though there was something behind me, and i felt like it wanted to hurt me. So i started to run. Sprinting. I kept running til i reached the filling station just outside my town. I ran back down the road again. and kept going past tc autos and thats about 2 miles already. Kept going til i got to the hospital road and turned down the alreston road. Kept running. ran past the shop. and back to my house. I stopped at the fence to catch my breath. The vision hit me again. Tears came to my eyes and i ran more. It started to hail and i kept running. Past McGins shop. Back around past tc autos and down that road again and turned at a small turn off. and ran as if i was going to my friends house. I stopped at a fence. I seen the vision again and got really angry. i punched it. My knuckles began to bleed. I looked at them. and jumped on top of a car. I looked into the sky and shouted. an old woman came out of her house saying "omg get off my car" i gave her the finger and jumped off and ran home. I walked into my kitchen at about 1am and started to make a sandwhich. I was cutting some beaf from the night before. The vision hit me again. and i..cut...and stabbed the counter. I hate cutting and i hate myself when i do it. I finished making my sandwhich and then ate it and tried to sleep. I couldnt so i cut again :( and took a sleeping pill and fell asleep on my floor.
  2. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    why don`t you try to run everytime you feel like hurting yourself, untill you`re exausted?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.