the noose

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by forlorn, Feb 4, 2008.

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  1. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    Dont know wether hanging is the best idea ive had. I can see the rope, its all i think about now. Hanging from the tall ash at the bottom of my garden. I look at the ash and wait for spring but its always the last tree to get its leaves. Winter is bleak. Ive made the noose i feel it round my neck. years ago my brother tried to hang himself and was cut down out the tree, they put him in a mental hospital. When he finally made it out, i told him how selfish he was and what a coward he was. I dont fear death, I dont feel selfish, this will be my decision. I am no coward, I just wish to die.
  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    I must admit hanging isn't one of my preferences.

    It is very sad that human beings choose to take their own life, an estimated 1 million people do it each year.

    It just goes to show how fucked up and truly uncaring modern society is. The help from mental health services is a joke. We are surrounded by 1000's of people a short walk away, yet we are alone.

    I thought I had gotten over the worst part of suicidal thoughts, but today I've been planning on how I would notify somebody to get my body removed and the kinds of things I would write in a note to explain to my Mother why I finally did it and couldn't continue with this life anymore.

    I am a sophisticated molecular machine, I wish I had some faith that I had a soul which was going to live on but I know consciousness is just the manifestation of our physical brains. Hopefully there is and I will make a better chance at the next life I get.

    You can get some extra 'joke' keys for the keyboard, I seen it recently and it made me smile. The buttons read, panic, panic over & eject seat. They are meant for users who are struggling with their computer. I don't have any problems like that, I just reboot the machine, but I could do with some ones which affect my life instead of the PC. Right now the panic button is flashing and if things get much worst I'm hitting the eject seat button.

    I'm suffering a bit with serotonin discontinuation syndrome which doesn't help with the suicidal feelings, it just brings home the reality of the thing called, my life.

    Have you been to the doctor to try to get some help.

    I hope things improve in your life soon and that things get better, try to hold onto some hope as long as possible, take care
  3. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    thanks Mark, im one in a million :sad:
  4. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    It's not too late yet, you can turn this thing around.

    I might be one as well, but not just yet.

    PM me if you wanna chat about anything.

    I hope you can get through this, try to speak to somebody to get some help.

    Take care
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please forlorn don't do this to yourself. Agnes may have hanged herself, but don't feel guilty over her death. We did all that we could for her and she still chose to do it. How do you think your daughter is going to feel when she finds her daddy haning from the oak tree? People need you around man. I don't want to lose another SF friend.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey Forlorn, please don't do this to yourself. Please get the rope, tear it to threads and make a fresh start, If you died Im sure lots of people would be very sad:sad: your family, your friends, and us here at SF. You are not alone :hug: if you need to talk, please feel free to PM me! I would be more than happy to try and help! :hug:
  7. forlorn

    forlorn Staff Alumni

    thankyou all for your support, im still here, just. Had how can i put it, a rollacoaster ride the last 24hrs but this site has put my faith back in the human race. Just hope i can keep it together now.:unsure:
  8. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    I just don't know how to accept that statistic. 1 million people ending their lives every year? That is just beyond tragic. I know some people might say, "That is 1 million out of 6.65 Billion people which is 0.000015%. That is almost negligent percentage out of 6.65 Billion people. A lot more people die from cancer, car accidents, etc..."
    But in my opinion, there is nothing more tragic than suicide. Growing up, I always had delusion that life can't be too bad for anyone to end their lives. As I have matured and witnessed many tragedies and sufferings, I began to wonder whether this world is not for some unfortunate people.
    Another statement that I empathize. Please correct me if I sound delusional or biased. But I see people becoming more and more selfish and greedy. I know money and power rule in this world. But it seems like people do whatever it takes to achieve fame, money and power. If you happen to be a person with mental issues like depression, bipolar or anxiety disorder, you get treated like 2nd-rate citizen. It is like people are saying to me, "You look just fine on the outside. Whatever you may suffer inside can't be that bad. So just suck it up and be mentally strong. Stop making excuses!"
    It breaks my heart to pieces why I happen to be the one who goes through severe depression. I don't want to feel depressed. I fight to death to be free from depression. It breaks my heart when people make misinformed statements about mental illness.
    Maybe, I am overreacting under the influence of depression. I still see so many people on the street and in life who can't stop smiling, laughing, enjoying life, and can't wait to wake up each day to live life. To them, this world is as beautiful and wonderful place as ever. I so bad wish to be like them.

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