...is here. I am not depressed, I was taking steroids for a medical reason and for 2 days I was paranoid, bat shit crazy and suicidal, I suddenly got a bad reaction from the steroids after having a good reaction, thank goodness I am off them now. But mentioned to the nurse yesterday that I was suicidal, I was just glad she didn't shrug it off, she seemed like she wanted to help me as she knows what lengths I have gone to before to try and commit suicide. I have good days and bad like all of us but my bad days are rare and medicine does work for me. I guess I just wanted to share that here 'cos I can't talk about suicide anywhere else. I just wanted to die, the doctor gave me an injection to calm me down which worked. I was VERY close to making an attempt. When I thought it couldn't get any worse I came face to face with my rapist I was getting panic attacks and hyperventilating like crazy. Those f'ing steroids are never going near my body again. Today is a new day, it started off on the wrong foot but is slowly getting better.