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The only reason I'm still here is my family

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by someone_, Jun 10, 2010.

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  1. someone_

    someone_ Active Member

    And the belief I might go to hell if I commit suicide.

    But really? I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. I gave up. I honestly don't care about making anything out of my life, I don't want relationships, I don't want friends. I want out.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yeh god i know that feeling i am sorry you are there so deep in the depression. My family is what keeps me here too i couldn't cause them pain god no. I wish you could reach out to anyone crisis doctor friend talk okay let the sadness out there is hope depression is treatable just takes time to find the right medication. please talk to your doctor get on new meds get new therapy Your family they would do anything to see you not is so much pain talk to someone and get some help even if you don't feel like it just do it okay please
  3. TrentGrad

    TrentGrad Well-Known Member

    I relate to what you've said for the most part. My brother took his life, and I've seen and felt, first hand, how there is never closure for the family. :-( And my Mother always taught me that if I took my life, I couldn't get into heaven...though I'm not sure if I believe that anymore.

    But where I find myself in a different position is in relation to wants. I want friends who love me for me. I want my family to love me for me. I'd love to have a relationship with the right person.

    It's like that song "When You Believe" says: "though hope is frail, it's hard to kill."

    Sadly when I find myself no further ahead, I feel crushed, and everything hurts that much more...and drives me to this place over and over again. I can only equate my feelings to those of a person who is set in a foreign land where they don't speak the language of everyone else, and they have trouble learning it.

    There's only so often you can arrive at this place before it takes it's toll...though perhaps what we all need is the right help from the right person, who is so perfectly suited to helping us that it's as if they've extended their hand and are walking us on the road to recovery.

    Having thought of suicide every waking hour for the past three weeks, my hope is now placed squarely on the new Family Doctor...however to be fair to her, even if she takes me by the hand, ultimately it's my responsibility to walk the road.

    Perhaps we can't see the sun through ash and clouds...but far enough on the horizon, it is there for everyone else. Perhaps we just need to walk a longer road to make it there amongst everyone else.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    *pats you on back* for thinking of your family and the pain and grief they will suffer if you take your life.....I'm living that nightmare now....I understand that feeling of wanting to go but not being able to....
    there are other choices ...please get some more help...
    are you having any help at the moment?
    take care
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