My life seems to revolve around three main themes lately: my focus on the fact that I was not promoted in my military career (unfairly in my and many other people's opinion); being upset about being forced into an early retirement from the military (despite the fact that I was not promoted); and my monumentally crushing debt and financial situation. As i sit here today, death seems to be the common solution. My pain and disappointments about my military career will not ever stop. It seems utterly hopeless to get out of debt because the economy prevents me from making even a minuscule dent in my debt. The thing is, i can't commit suicide because that will just leave my family in the lurch financially. No, the death has to be accidental. I've tried to think of a way to make it look like an accident, but if i don't know anything else, i know that is almost impossible. I need to make sure my insurance will pay off, with no questions asked. So I pray to be spared the misery of continued life; to be a fatality in some accident. I don't want others hurt or killed in the accident, just me. That is why i've used the car/truck into a stationary object so much. I don't need anything fancy. Hell, lately I am thinking that what I really ought to do is go get mugged somewhere. Anyway, I guess the purposes of my thread are two: one to just vent; and two to see if other people can relate, or have similar feelings..... that they don't necessarily want suicide, they just want life to end sooner rather than later. Let me know what you think, and thanks for letting me vent. See you around the forum!