The only things that keeps me going.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marty, Jun 12, 2010.

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  1. Marty

    Marty New Member

    I feel that I'm always down, no matter where I go.
    If I'm with my family or friends, I just try to hide it. My friends have screwed me over before, so I don't really feel that I can trust them anymore...

    The thing is, I have a dog and it's 9 years old.
    It's particularly the only thing that signals me to keep going, and to not just swallow a bunch of pills and drink a bottle of vodka.
    Just to come home and see how happy my dog is to see me, makes me really
    really happy.

    When I take him for a walk I just want to keep walking, and never come back.
    When I'm upset or just suicidal, he comes to me and lays his head on my lap, it's like he feels what I feel, and it really cheers me up.
    When he's gone, I will without a doubt go with him, question is: Will I be able to last that long?
    I pretty much have to. I love my dog and he means the world to me.
    Besides, I don't want him to find me dead, and then afterwards be taken away to a whole new family or something, it would break him.

    I have never been too emotional. I've always been one of those people who would just respond with a ''whatever'' no matter what heartless insult someone would hand me.
    But I guess that was before everything went downstairs, and my friends and family completely trashed me.

    Marijuana also takes a big place in my life.
    I like to just be alone, smoking.
    It doesn't really cheer me up, nor does it make me upset.
    It just clears my mind for when I need it.

    I don't really want to talk to anyone about it, at all.
    Mainly because it would just make them keep an eye on me.
    But on here I don't have to worry.

    Thank you, Goodbye.
  2. elibaby

    elibaby Member

    Animals are sometimes much better to have around than people.. My dog use to cheer me up all the time whenever I was depressed... Even tho I dont know u, I felt really sad reading your post..

    Hope ur okay..?
  3. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Hello sweetheart and welcome to the website. Don't do anything, stick around and you will be able to find the help and support you are searching for! Even if you read back through some of the threads and the advice that people have given in the past. You will be able to see how we all feel on here :hamtaro:

    Yes, animals can sometimes be better than humans! But don't leave your dog without an owner.. you have been with him for so long. Its like a human attachment. I had a cat that I loved to pieces (i am a huge cat obsessive) But unfortunately last year she passed away and I have never got over her since :cat:

    Sweetheart, have you seen a doctor?
    Please stick around and talk :rose: xoxooxoxoxox
  4. Marty

    Marty New Member

    I don't know anymore, I'm okay though, better atleast, thanks for asking Elibaby.

    Well, no matter what animal it is, and how intimidating it is, there's not a bigger threat than humanity, and I feel kind of upset about that.

    I'm really sorry to hear about your cat, Alice, must've been hard for you.

    I don't go near doctors unless I'm sick, I found out that all they're going to do is to call you insane and give you some medicine.

    I wouldn't consider myself insane, just lonely, sad and forgotten.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2010
  5. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    No doctors can be a great help- they can refer you to a counsellor :) and you will be able to talk all your feelings through properly :hugtackles: xo
  6. elibaby

    elibaby Member

    Well, i think it's ok not to go to a doctor just now.. Maybe you just need someone who will be there for you no matter what.

    Plz don't feel alone...

    I know I'm maybe not the best person to give advice.. but remember sometimes when a person is depressed or suicidal, medical help can be the best at that moment.

    If you ever need someone to talk to..just send me a message.

    ..and i'm glad you're feeling a little better.
  7. alices_ponder

    alices_ponder Well-Known Member

    Of course he needs to go see a doctor, anyone who has any kind of suicidal thoughts or baggage should definitely go to see their doctor and then perhaps be refered onto a counsellor or something along the lines of that :hugtackles: Medical help is there for you and it can be the starting point of your happiness. Not all doctors are evil you know :cool: most of them are extremely genuine and helpful people and I truly respect the doctors that put their necks out their to help the people who really need it. :stars: xo
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