hello my name is mark and my life for the last while has been nothing but a mix of despiar,regret, and misery. I feel i have ruined my life and i honestly see no hope for myself in the future. I had a gf, friends, a life, and now im alone with nothing. I cannot tell my family or anyone i know because i know they will think im either crazy or pathetic( which i guess is true). I cant handle going on this way, the only thing thats been stopping me is fear that i will fail at this too and wake up in the hospital. I need to find a way where that wont happen, i refuse to go through life drifting though hopelessness. This life has offered me many opportunities, i was too blind to see... but i guess where im going that wont matter.