And this is the only thing left in the world I can relate too, my heart and soul; Not a word. Not hello, nor how are you. Nothing. No response. I've been eradicated, erased...I'm nothing. Whispers would sound like screams at this point in time. Words that made no sense at all would be ample and comforting. I've been here before and tried to drown it. This time I will try to cut out the heart, tear off the limbs. How this place became so barren and frozen in such a small period is beyond me. I thought there was warmth. I thought stupidly that this was going to be the best year of my life. Farewell to this year, everything it's done to me. Farewell to you for not replying, for not caring enough to take the time to respond to my calls for help. Farewell to everything. This world is dead to me, turns out I'm going to fit in just fine. I'm going to cut my arms open and pull at the heart strings attached to my hands until they snap and die, that must be the way... Everything I touch falls to pieces. Everything I love turns a blind eye. Cut the throat and see what colour it bleeds Cut the ties and see how abruptly it comes to an end. This heart is black and collapsed I wish my lungs would give in, because I don't have the courage to do it myself. I hate this place I'm in. I only wanted to love. It's not enough. ... I want to find you so bad.