Everyday , I work my butt off to be great but I fail. The expectations of life are becoming to sit on my shoulders and the pressure is unsurmountable. Everyday I break down crying wishing life would end and get really close to ending it all. What good is life for me !? everything I do is not good, everything I put my mind to fails me. My life seems to have no purpose, and therefore why not end it all? Life is a cruel sick game that can either be good to you or bad to you (In my case). I just don't know what to do. Im tired of the failure, tired of the constant uphill battles. I enjoy my dreams so much. Sleep is the only place I can ever find peace and happiness anymore. I believe killing myself will stop all the chaos in my life. I believe suicide is the solution to a lot of my problems. When dead nothing materialistic matters anymore. Emotions, expectations, everything you can think of that brings me down will no longer matter. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer each day to actually doing the deed. I feel my grip on life slipping and I have come close before but I feel very soon I won't be able to fight it off any longer. The sad truth is, I want to die. at my own hands. however , there is still some force holding on to my soul that just won't let me do it just yet.