the past is haunting...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ralyn, Mar 20, 2011.

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  1. ralyn

    ralyn Member

    an old friend has just died and its bringing up old emotions that i have buried long ago. ive been struggeling with depression and suicidal thoughts for 6 years and along with that i also struggle with cutting... an old habit that is extremely hard to break.. nothing I do anymore is good enough for me or anybody around me. ive been having panic attacks again and i can't breathe.. on top of everything i have to deal with i also have to deal with the added stress of hiding my scars and my healing wounds.. don't get me wrong they arn't deep and they arn't serious. if someone looked at them it would look like cat scratches ... almost... but the thing is if i don't find a nother method.. i don't know what ill do... now its getting to the point where .. and if it gets that far then i might cut too deep... but a part of me is challenging to go just a BIT deeper... and ive been planning out my sucicide to the point where if it was written down and somebody saw it they could have me commitedd.... the only thing that isn't set in my plan is the date...
  2. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member


    Sorry to hear you are bad again.

    Maybe you should go see your doc and let them know that these old feelings are resurfacing so that you can be given extra support.

  3. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    You can get to a point where the past no longer hurts you and where cutting is no longer something you are focused on, or even in which you have interest. I am sure of it. I think you really have to try to set positive goals for yourself that have nothing to do with anything you mentioned. Joining a sports team or art or volunteering might do wonders for you, and it might not be such a big hassle to stay engaged if you're already involved or interested in any activities. Soothing your mind and being healthy is within reach. You have plenty of time. Please let us know how we can help.
  4. ralyn

    ralyn Member

    i don't have a doctor, and i do draw but it just doesn't seem to be enough anymore.
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