I have finally hit a point of depression. I have hit rock bottom. After years of not cutting, I have been cutting and it's never been this bad. I have cut the word "Hate me" and "Kill me" on my legs :/ I don't know what to do anymore. This all started when I met this boy and I fell for him. He reminds me so much of myself. He has become my best friend here at college and we both acted as if we were in a relationship. Then I got the lets just be friends and I was okay with it. But for months, it just created a riff in our relationship...it's odd. We would talk or ignore eachother. Finally after a few months. We began talking again. We went to go talk somewhere and he finally told me that I was his best friend. But he told me he'd never see it with us...i guess that's what hurt. oddly enough, he lost his virginity to me that night. I know it sounds crazy, but it happened. After that we were attached at the hip...yet he wanted nothing with me. Finally this past week, he got back with his ex girlfriend...even when the day before we were still holding hands and kissing...so I went on a drinking binge and cut myself. Thats the second time. i have lost all hope. I just need someone to tell me I'm okay.