The perfect storm

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Feb 17, 2008.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    I'm never sure if my thoughts should go in Let it out or here or somewhere else. I'll trust the mods to decide if it should be moved.

    So I'm sure plenty of us have heard the term, it's all about timing (or something along that line). Well it really is. As of Friday Feb. 15th I have no school again till Feb. 25th. This is because my University is on reading week. The knock off version of spring break in the middle of fucking February. This means I have over a week in which the very few people I know, have gone home and I'm left sitting in my room with nothing but my mind to keep me company. Add to this the fact that I have 4 midterms once the break is over and 4 projects to complete shortly after them. All of which I have no motivation to do them other than I don't want to be seen as stupid (although with a 73 average I'm sure I already am). Then add to that, that on Friday I will be turning 23. And for the 4th year in a row, I'll be spending it alone and doing absolutely nothing.

    This week is really shaping up to be the perfect storm in terms of triggers. Loneliness, failure and getting older (I know 23 is not old but when you have as much life experience as a 6 year old, it feels like a long time).

    Bought a case of beer on Thursday and as of Saturday night I have 6 beers left. Worst part is that even drinking an average of 6 beers an hour doesn't get me drunk, just relaxed.
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    unscheduled time and isolation can be a real challenge when you are fighting depression. for me, it was alot of time on my hands that let my mind go into free fall, obsessing on suicide and all my internal stuff. it was pretty bad

    can you use the time off in a few ways? try and get in to see a shrink (i know you said there was a 3 month wait list, but that doesn't apply if you are in crisis and on the brink and i believe you when you say you are), gather up your nerve to tell your doctor or a family member how low you are feeling. don't sugar coat it... be as honest as you can. write a list of who you can reach out to when you are at your lowest, it might include posting here, the chat, samaritans, a phone support line, the emergency room, etc.

    you don't have to fight these feelings alone.

    c
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just checking in to see how the week is going

    c.
     
  4. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    I have the same week going on right now. Yes, I completely understand what you mean by the perfect storm. It has put me into a deeper depression for sure. Hang in there mate, just remember your aren't the only one.
     
  5. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Off to a wonderful start (<---sarcasm)
     
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    yikes. if you want to vent... go for it.
    :)
    c
     
  7. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    thanks, somewhat did in let it out. It's the one called family day
     
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