The Perfect Therapist

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CGMAngel, Mar 22, 2013.

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  1. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    Hello everyone;

    Has anyone on here ever had a really positive interaction with a therapist? If so, and if you feel comfortable enough, would you mind sharing a little about how and why?

    After almost 30 years and 12 doctors/psychiatrists/psychologists, I am beginning to lose faith. My experiences in this area have led me to the conclusion that only those who have suffered through a mental illness should be therapists.
    I don’t care how many letters are after your name, or how many research studies you have read, or how much training you have undergone; if you have never had a mental illness, simply put, you will never, never understand.

    I wish, too, that therapists weren’t so easy to fool. Not that I intentionally attempt to do so; that would be counterproductive. However, since it is my natural tendency to hide my darkest feelings, I tend to come across to others as fairly in-control and emotionally well-balanced.

    Yet still I am astonished that no one sees through that defense-mechanism veneer. Even though I may keep some of my deepest thoughts to myself, I still talk enough about my mental pain and suffering to provide (I would have thought) a few clues. I can never quite believe it when my therapist lets me go at the end of the session.

    Why can’t you see how close I am to the edge? Aren’t you supposed to be trained to read between the lines?

    Seems the only way to get taken seriously, if you have a mental illness, is to speak of taking your own life. That sure as hell gets people’s attention.

    “You can’t expect me to read your mind.” How many times have I heard that?

    No, I don’t expect it. Yet, it would sure be nice if just one person on this planet would say to me, "But are you really okay?"

    Has anyone seen the wonderful film “Ordinary People”? Judd Hirsch’s character, Dr. Tyrone Berger, has always been “The Perfect Therapist” in my eyes. He never bought into any of his client, Conrad’s BS, and he didn’t quit until he got to the root of the issue that was haunting Conrad and slowly tearing him apart.

    Alas, yes, fictional….
    Or maybe not? Perhaps some of you have had such an experience. Have any of your doctors/therapists had a lasting positive impact on your struggles to overcome mental illness?

    Sorry this has rambled on. I could really sum it all up in one sentence:

    I am so tired of being my own therapist.
  2. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    It is bloody exhausting being one's own therapist but we are the only people for the job. A good assistant can help whether called psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist whatever. But we do the work. We provide the data. We set the goals. If we're not doing that we need a new assistant. Someone we gel with. Who works in a way we can cope with. One doesn't have to like one's therapist. We don't meet up for a friendly chat. We meet to reach a goal. That may include finding out what the bloody goal is. The assistant will usually have their preferred method. The names and methods change over the years. Despite latter fact some people get great benefit from assistants ,always have done and always will. PM me if you'd like to be bored some more.
  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I gave up after three therapists. The last one told me that I didn't have voices. Then he proceeded to tear me down, and say mean things about me. That was my last therapist. The one before, gave me room to talk, but I would never say anything. I said maybe a total of 10 words to him in 6 months.

    I recently (yesterday) had a psychological assessment, and I let them know what has been happening, and that the voices are the same, and pretty much let them know how I felt. They then told me I didn't need therapy. So that was that.

    I'm glad tho... I don't need anyone picking my brain. The spiders do enough of that already.
  4. hoophula

    hoophula Active Member

    It is sad, too, because it isn't just therapists that we have to worry about not able to help us, it is our loved ones, the people who say ' i love you' and then hurt our feelings by saying we are crazy. i am so pissed and need help it is over-whelming. Seems the only way to get taken seriously, if you have a mental illness, is to speak of taking your own life. That sure as hell gets people’s attention.' unquote AND EVEN THEN, YOU GET LAUGHED AT!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2013
  5. LittleLostBoy

    LittleLostBoy New Member

    Fair share of therapists fair share of disappointments.
    The best but not great would be the school nurse back when I was 14, a regularly old nurse shouldn't be more qualified then these numb nuts you wait and pay to see.

    The only other mention able one was one for anxieties, like helping me over come the fear to go outside and it worked.
    But for other personal, suicidal feelings, more complex, transgender, they just sit wide mouthed.
    And ask you to explain to them what they should know, you are teaching someone to help you and its bad just bad.

    A male one told me I'd grow out of it, I was too young to know, funny how I still feel the same way.
    Mostly everything they say to you doesnt seem to hit the point you just said to them, like you know they are not completely on the same level, they can't, just what they read in the textbooks.

    I agree with all you have said. Its so sad.
    This is why sites like this are here.

    But I will say Im heading back to one, because of recent harm. I actually don't have a friend in this world and I need to just talk and talk, hopefully I will be 9th time lucky.
  6. SadBk

    SadBk Well-Known Member

    We really do have to be our own therapists in a way. Like... it's up to us to save ourselves, and all that.

    But! I actually adore my therapist. I wish she were my mother. She is patient and kind and nurturing and empathetic (pretty much everything my mother is not...though I do love my mother!). At least, that's how she portrays herself to me; I understand she may be putting on a persona because she can see what I need. I feel like I can tell her anything. I don't know what I'm going to do if she thinks I don't need therapy anymore... hopefully she'll think I'm fucked up enough to need her help for years, yet... heh. She's called me on my bullshit before, and I respect her for that. So some of them DO read between the lines. I've tested her a little at times, and she's passed... but she's also failed in other ways, where perhaps she forgot something I had mentioned before that she didn't consider a big deal that I think probably should be... she is only human, after all. Imperfect. Ultimately, it IS up to us to bring forth the things we really need to address. If we hide them, perhaps we're not truly ready to face up to them.

    I hope this comment doesn't infuriate you more -- I had what my therapist calls "bad therapy" as a teenager, and I've heard other horror stories, I know it's not all roses out there in therapy land. It sucks that you've had such a hard time :\ I guess I just lucked out.
  7. 1664Fireman

    1664Fireman New Member

    I don't have a therapist...I have however talked to the "therapist" at my work......that being said. He helped me initially, but cancelled appointments after that. He is PAID to help, and was NOT there for me.
    As hard as it is to believe, I helped myself. In my line of work, when u think u have "Seen it all", u run a call u haven't seen. I can appreciate your "perfect therapist" not being there. Hopefully I can help u. Email/text me and hopefully we can talk CGMAngel, or anyone else
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