The phrase "nobody cares" and variations on that

[Angie]

I have heard this so many times and said it myself.

Nobody cares so I'm gonna kill myself.
Nobody will come to my funeral.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody supports me.

I've been down in the dumps lately (probably a seasonal thing). But my friends IRL all have families and I don't. My friends IRL do care to a point, but I've been asking myself "what does people caring look like?"

What do you think it would look like if people cared IRL?

 

[HappyKitty]

Ohh fascinating. I still think, people only care at their convenience irl. 🥺

 

[Bergerac]

Ohh fascinating. I still think, people only care at their convenience irl. 🥺

So very true, Kits.

 

[BlueGreen]

I've learned to look at it positively. My favourite phrase is 'nobody cares, do it for yourself'. That means I'm free from relying on approval or certain actions. I don't know what caring looks like. I've become so accustomed to living with a man who doesn't care at all and can't show it that I wonder if I've forgotten who I am and what is 'normal'. I guess everyone struggles in some way even if outwardly they don't look it, that maybe they/we don't have anything in reserve to give to others in need?

 

[HappyKitty]

I've learned to look at it positively. My favourite phrase is 'nobody cares, do it for yourself'. That means I'm free from relying on approval or certain actions. I don't know what caring looks like. I've become so accustomed to living with a man who doesn't care at all and can't show it that I wonder if I've forgotten who I am and what is 'normal'. I guess everyone struggles in some way even if outwardly they don't look it, that maybe they/we don't have anything in reserve to give to others in need?

oh yess preachh

 

[Lane]

I have heard this so many times and said it myself.

Nobody cares so I'm gonna kill myself.
Nobody will come to my funeral.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody supports me.

I've been down in the dumps lately (probably a seasonal thing). But my friends IRL all have families and I don't. My friends IRL do care to a point, but I've been asking myself "what does people caring look like?"

What do you think it would look like if people cared IRL?

Being together on holidays. I've spent way too many holidays and birthdays alone. I dont care who comes to my funeral

 

[Nick]

I have heard this so many times and said it myself.

Nobody cares so I'm gonna kill myself.
Nobody will come to my funeral.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody supports me.

I've been down in the dumps lately (probably a seasonal thing). But my friends IRL all have families and I don't. My friends IRL do care to a point, but I've been asking myself "what does people caring look like?"

What do you think it would look like if people cared IRL?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. I think there are different levels of caring. I can only really think to explain it by giving examples I know from life.

A friend of a friend dies and they need money to get the body home, you donate some money because you care. You maybe don't care enough to mourn the loss of this person for hours, but you care enough to want the family to have some peace.

You know someone who needs help with food. You care enough to drop off a bag of food on their doorstep.

Your best friend is stressed out. Now the level of care is amped up. You want to find ways to reduce their stress. You want to talk or leave them alone, whichever you think will reduce their stress more. You want to make them smile and help them in any way you can.

For me it's about the degree of separation. I care about people I don't know, but the degree I care about them is not going to be as deep as someone I know. The more I know you and know about you, the more I'm going to care. I have no idea if that's normal. I think we get stuck here sometimes with the idea that these people are online and not real life people. I just don't see it that way. People here are my real life people. Might not come to my funeral, but eh, who wants to go to one of those anyway. I don't really care if someone shows up when I'm dead. I'd really like for people to show up while I'm alive.

 

[dandelions]

I have heard this so many times and said it myself.

Nobody cares so I'm gonna kill myself.
Nobody will come to my funeral.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody supports me.

I've been down in the dumps lately (probably a seasonal thing). But my friends IRL all have families and I don't. My friends IRL do care to a point, but I've been asking myself "what does people caring look like?"

What do you think it would look like if people cared IRL?

HI Angie,

I experience something i think is similar though probably as different as we ourselves are different from each other. I often think of - as being thought of as unimportant and insignificant in most other people’s lives. I even question my standing with family though there are no major conflicts.

I also, having been tormented for most of my life by “hijacker”, that i expect that when i eventually die people will obligatorily gather and say “now he’s in a better place” and i wish i could point out to them that if the things hijacker has told me in the past come true, i will not be in any kind of better place. and what they are saying is not caring but obligation. but then i become self reproachful for even thinking about the people gathering and remembering - wtf, i’m being so me me me.

I’ve been down in the dumps lately too but good things are happening as well. for me what people caring looks like is having been to the doctor yesterday and she actually listened and responded favorably to the same concern i’ve been expressing for years and had been routinely ignored as being something impossible to achieve. then speaking with my therapist about it afterwards she too helped in the idea that solutions are within reach finally. that was caring on their part and made me feel hopeful and proactive.

as for people closer, i usually go for a walk in the park near by and before going i ask my wife and son if they will come with me and of course they both say “some other time” or “no”. but the day before yesterday my son finally said yes. it was nice just to walk and talk with him. that was caring.

and also recently i posted about my self harm on facebook and received support from - most importantly my two sons. they said some really nice things to me and it was very uplifting to hear it. and people - who i consider friendly acquaintances (since i always feel as if i have no friends) responded nicely on facebook even if they thought i was only crying out for help when really i was saying that i want to change mental healthcare.

but i have been searching for the “caring” and lately it has been presenting itself. people do care IRL but it doesn’t always show and sometimes when it does it still does not seem real or significant. but i do believe it is there - hard to find and recognize.

but i am really glad you asked this question. Thanks! its helping me as i hope it helps you in locating, recognizing and experiencing the caring that is around somewhere.

 

[iwihbn]

I have heard this so many times and said it myself.

Nobody cares so I'm gonna kill myself.
Nobody will come to my funeral.
Nobody helps me.
Nobody supports me.

I've been down in the dumps lately (probably a seasonal thing). But my friends IRL all have families and I don't. My friends IRL do care to a point, but I've been asking myself "what does people caring look like?"

What do you think it would look like if people cared IRL?

Heya Angie!
Care for me has been in my mates checking up on me.
Its getting a birthday card after getting out of the hospital. Its them telling me they're proud of me for cutting wayyyy back on the drinking, and taking my life more seriously.
Its in the hugs we have on drunken runs. Its every chat we have at night playing minecraft

Imo, care isn't just expressed as itself. Its in every other little action you do together.