The plan...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lrfc003, Sep 10, 2008.

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  1. lrfc003

    lrfc003 New Member

    I'm 19M and bipolar and was finally correctly diagnosed after my first suicide attempt a year ago. I'm now in college and I can't even get out of bed. I sleep 14-16 hours a day and have absolutely noone. I can't make myself go to class and everytime I go, I just sit there and think about killing myself. My roommate makes fun of me for sleeping so much and being so "lazy" but obviously he doesn't understand and I wouldn't expect him to. Noone would ever understand if I tried to explain to them how hard it is to wake up and do anything. I know that I am going to be sick like this forever. I don't want to go on and don't plan on doing so. I'm physically and mentally tired of dealing with myself and being so fucked up. Nothing is set in stone yet, however I can't see past more than a few weeks. I'm actually excited that everything is "winding down" even though I know I'm not supposed to be. I'll be glad to finally feel nothing. I look forward to being nothing.
     
  2. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    you may be 'sick like this forever' but it can get easier. are you under treatment? if nothing else hit up the college's health department and see if they have counseling services, most do. that would be a good start. there may also be medications that could ease your symptoms and make getting through your days easier. please dont give up.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello :hug:

    Are you in therapy or on any medication for your illness? Sleeping that much daily is enough to make anyone depressed. please don't end your life:sad: I don't think you want to actually die, You just want to feel better and free of pain. Maybe you should visit a doctor and see if they can help you anymore than they already have? Its got to be worth a shot :hug:
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good morning,
    You say you were properly diagnosed a year ago? Was your diagnosis made by a psychiatrist? If so can you go back to him/her and let them know what is going on with you?
    Did they perscribe any meds? If so did they help? You should really think about seeking help. Sleeping that much is a sure sign of depression!! Can you think back to what has changed in your life, that could have triggered this depression?
    I am glad you have come to the forum seeking support!! There are alot of people here who can partially understand how depression can eat away at you. Please try and open up a little more, That way we can get a better understanding of what you are going thru!! Take Care!!!:chopper:!!
     
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi irfc. Although there are no cures for bipolar disorder, you can learn to manage your high and low mood swings. It isn't a death sentence. Try eating healthy, drinking enough water and sleeping for only about 8 hours a day and see if that helps. Please don't give up hope. :hug:
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Now that you were properly diagnosed, you have the opportunity for there to be much more quality in your life...please give it a chance and see how this plan of treatment works for you...big hugs, J
     
  7. Shad

    Shad Active Member

    Man. Too be in your shoes. 19 in college. You my friend have the power right now to do anything you set your mind too. I would literally kill to be 19 again.
    And in college to boot.. I was to tied up in myself at 19. Then I became a father(several times). And never had the chance to go to college.
    My friend you have it all going for you. You just need to open your eyes and see. You feel lonely now. But now isnt the time to feel lonely. Get out of bed.
    You wont have many oppurtunities like the one you have now.
    Cram your mind with knowledge. And think about nothing else. Your life will fall in place later in life. This I promise you. If you ever need to talk im here.
    Iwasdreaming@yahoo.com
     
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