The problem of perspective

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by dunnowut, May 17, 2012.

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  1. dunnowut

    dunnowut New Member

    I live in a society where I have roof over my head, food, clean water, health care, electricity, all kinds of entertainment, tv, radio, internet, and many things that weren’t even imagined a century ago.
    And I’m not happy. I’ve never been happy. This makes no sense…
    Actually it does.
    There is too much information out there. Too much of other people’s happiness that devalues my own when I compare them. It’s the problem of perspective. As my ignorance shrinks so do I.
    I don’t think there’s any hope. I left facebook three years ago because I was unable to watch other people having fun while I’m just a pathetic little loser. It didn’t help.
    Basically the only reason why I’m still alive is because I’m a social moron That’s way too much time to think in a bus, in a foreign environment where I can easily drift into an instinctive self defense mode. And it’s not easy to fight my fear of heights also.
    Damn, it sucks to be a moron…
    Last edited by a moderator: May 26, 2012
  2. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I don't think you're a moron at all. In fact, that's a very insightful realization you managed to come to about your life. That right there is proof that you're probably smarter than most of those people having all the fun on Facebook. All they know how to do is send text messages and take stupid looking pictures of themselves, and meanwhile you're contemplating esoteric concepts of modern life and its affects on the human psyche. The fact that you lack connections or the ability to manipulate people doesn't make you stupid.

    Now I'm not going to try to give you advice on ways to go about getting drugs or guns or anything like that, (1) because it's against the site rules to help members commit suicide, and (2) because while I am suicidal myself, I don't believe it is my place to encouarge somebody else to end their life. That's a decision they have to make on their own, and of course the point of a forum like this is to discourage people from making that choice. Most of us wouldn't be here if at least part of us didn't want to live.

    You feel bad because you're comparing your life to the life of others, and you feel inadequate about your own. That's something that can be fixed, whether by taking steps to improve your own life, or by realizing that other people's lives aren't important, what's important is being happy with your own life and not caring about what anybody else has. Now obviously you're not happy with your current life, so let's start there. What is it that other people have that you want? Are you looking to be popular? Successful? To be a jetsetter going around the world and having fascinating experiences? Are you looking to have lots of sex, or go to lots of parties? Or are you jealous of the family life, the house, the picket fence, minivan, 2.5 kids and a dog? Ask yourself, what do you want out of life? Forget about what other people have and stop worrying about whether or not it's better than what you have. Somebody will ALWAYS have something better than you, no matter how great your life is. Accept that you will probably never be the most popular person or have the best looking boyfriend/girlfriend or the most expensive car. These are impossible and unrealistic dreams. But a more realistic dream could certainly be within your reach. The first step is identifying what, if anything, would make you happy in your life. Once you've figured that out, you can work from there. I'm happy to share any advice I might have on whatever it is you're looking for out of life, though I'll tell you upfront that I don't have all the answers to every problem. If I did, I obviously wouldn't be here.
  3. dunnowut

    dunnowut New Member

    You made me think.

    Yeah, there are rules everywhere about advocating suicide, but personally I would be happy if there were places where I could get the resources easily to kill myself in a painless way. And I would give up my body for research, organ harvest, fertilizer, whatever. :sparkle:

    Basically everything boils down to this in my life: because I’m antisocial I am unable to effectively sell myself to other people, therefore I’m unable to get a normal job and have enough money to be able to do anything other than sustaining my own existence. And this doesn’t worth it. I have to find a way out of this. I guess I have to become a chemist to manufacture my own suicide pill. The fun thing is that I have no skills in chemistry. :mushroom: :D
  4. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    I think a lot of people are antisocial. I'm not very good at selling myself either, but I'm getting better. I used to have such horrible social anxiety that I would have panic attacks and become physically ill whenever I had to go into social situations where I didn't feel comfortable. I'm a lot more comfortable with myself now. Not because I'm happy or confident or learned the secret to winning friends and influencing people or anything like that, but because after suffering years of pain, fear, and embarrassment, I no longer really give a fuck if I make a fool of myself. I go into situations fully expecting to make a fool of myself and expecting people to ignore or reject me. And I've learned that the less I care and the less anxious I am over it, the less likely I am to make a fool of myself. By constantly subjecting yourself to the same discomfort over and over and over again, you eventually become immune to it. I know that when you suffer from social anxiety, the last thing you want to do is put yourself in social situations. But it really is the best way to eventually overcome your fears. I'm not saying it's easy, because it's not; it's very uncomfortable, it's quite possible that you will embarrass yourself countless times and earn a poor reputation, and it can take months or even years to make any kind of progress. But it is possible. You should try to get inverviews for jobs that you don't really care about just to practice your interviewing skills, then once you're comfortable enough, you can try for jobs that you would want to do. Same with forming relationships with others. Approach strangers on the street and try to strike up conversations with them or ask them out on dates. Don't be surprised if most of them reject you or try to avoid you, at least at first - but I think you'll find that you eventually get used to the idea of getting rejected and it will no longer bother you as much. Then you will find yourself surprised when somebody DOESN'T turn you away.

    I know it's hard to subject yourself to something like this, and most people would never willingly do so unless they absolutely had to. I'm just trying to be helpful in the best way that I can towards a stranger over the internet. I'm sorry if it's not helping any. But I'm taking my own advice and trying to help as many people as I can in the hopes that one of them actually finds my help to be useful.
  5. dunnowut

    dunnowut New Member

    Actually I have to thank you for your time and effort to help me analyze my situation.

    I’m not sure if I’m anxious in my social interactions. I guess the problem is that I’m a poor actor and I’m unable to pretend that I care about other people when I just really don’t give a fuck about someone’s new haircut for example. Maybe I’m just a selfish asshole or most of the relationships are based on stupid little ego boosting lies instead of productive discussions, or maybe both statements are somewhat true. I dunno.

    Anyway, thank you for your help.
  6. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    You're welcome. And I completely understand that feeling as well. I think a lot of relationships are based on stupid little ego boosting lies. Hence, the existence of Facebook. Everybody shouting "LOOK AT ME!" without taking the time to really get to know each other or discuss anything meaningful. Welcome to the new reality show where everybody is clamoring for their 15 minutes of fame, while people like us are sitting back and trying to figure out how to change the channel. Personally, I'm not interested in those kinds of relationships with others either. I'm looking for the real deal, and not having a whole lot of luck finding it thus far. Still, I try to hold on to hope, especially when I read some of the posts here and realize that there are still real people in the world.

    Always happy to try to help someone I can more or less relate to. Even if I am sometimes unable to help myself.
  7. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    How old are you?
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