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The Problem With Envy

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Just_Me_, Apr 6, 2007.

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  1. Just_Me_

    Just_Me_ Guest

    Some people are just born into favorable circumstances, with favorable features. What's the ideal image of a lucky person? Someone who is born stinking rich, with good looks, with a loving family, and who has everything going for him/her, never having to go through any crippling mental disorder, or any catastrophes besides what is common to man. Fucking spoiled brats sheltered in a protective cacoon most of their lives.

    What about the rest of us? People like me? I have nothing going for me. No hope. I am as ugly, as retarded, as defective as Medusa. I have zero motivation, life most likely will be a struggle to pay off rent and live off of crumbs, life will be empty and meaningless. I will most likely die a loner.

    I feel like savagely killing happy people, and most of all I hate myself to no avail. I want to destroy human beings whom I envy- I want to slowly destroy their lives first, and then kill them. I want to destroy their careers/grades, take away everyone who loves them and those whom they love, physically marr them, pyschologically abuse them, destroy any lingering shreds of hope, I want to make them go through what I went through, and then kill them in the most brutal fashion possible.

    I so desperately want to be born in their situation, I want to feel what they feel, I want to know what's it's like to be loved, truly loved and cared for by your family, by other people, I want to know what it feels like to have genuine feelings, and concerns, I want to know how it feels like to be alive. I'm starving for the life that they lead.

    Anyone else have this problem?
  2. Yes, I feel like that frequently, actually.

    Jealousy is a terrible emotion.

    And I'm embarrassed for the fact that I've been feeling it so strongly lately.

    Just know you're not alone. :hug:

    I hope things get better for you.
  3. Just_Me_

    Just_Me_ Guest

    Thanks Unregistered(insert that long number).

    I don't think things will ever get better for me. Not saying it to sound emo, but it's just one of those things that I know for sure. I think the best way to die is by drowning, because I heard that you actually feel peaceful in the end. What do you think? How would you want to die?
  4. I feel similarly.

    I'm not sure how I'd want to die (nor would I say it on this site), but I do know I'd want to feel at least slightly satisfied with how I lived.

    I understand what you're saying, and it doesn't sound "emo", lol. Just be safe out there and take care of yourself-- this world's a tough one.
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