I have struggled off and on with suicidal ideation since I was 11 years old, and as a young adult I had a "plan" of sorts that always brought me back to reality. I promised myself I would never kill myself without first destroying everything I had ever written. Now that I am 55 I don't much care about what I've written. I'm told I really need to make a list of friends and family members who I can call when I'm feeling suicidal, but there is no one left. Throughout the years everyone I've known has left me because they cannot stand the depression or the PTSD. Trying to talk to friends is so excruciating that I just have given up. I'm told that isolating myself is bad, but I see no other options when it comes to protecting myself. So how else do I create a "suicide prevention plan?"