The reader to commenter ratio on these posts suck

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BlondRedHead, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    Holding onto my emotional abandonment as much as possible.

    Still done with my family, they are all being nicer to me because I have been so short. They aren't used to me brushing them off instead of asking how they are or quietly listening when they yell at me. Like last night someone forgot to put a bag in the trashcan so it was full of garbage and we had to grab it by hand, my brother was yelling and kicking the compacter so I went in and grabbed a bag, pulled it all out and washed my hands, then turned to him and said I am not listening to his BS anymore. Some things aren't worth freaking out over and I'm done with the dramatics. Usually if I even sigh or roll my eyes at him it turns into a heated argument but he just went and sat down.

    It would feel good if I could feel things normally. Maybe I would if this migraine wasn't going on day three.

    Haven't taken one of my pills in a few days. I was using them to feel numb and they are meant for emergencies so I am going to lay off a bit.

    I realized I don't want to die. Just because I don't want to live doesn't mean I want to be dead... it seems black n white but there really is a lot of gray. I think I just want to START living.

    No luck finding work today and still feeling lonely as ever... I need friends
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2009
  2. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    hi there
    wise of you to save those pills for real crisis times even when you are in pain anyways.Shows you have will power and restraint.I hear you about the grey..a thousand shades of situation is bleak for so many..good to lean on each other for encouragement.You are living...just not the life you want yet..but you are reaching out and that is part of life.Getting there to where we want to be in life is actually a lifelong process.It is getting through each day...and knowing you are not alone because you got us.:biggrin:
  3. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    It does seem like you are ready to make positive changes in your life and are ready to fight the depression full on. I'm happy for you. It seems you may have more hope in the future.
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hiya, I just wrote you a PM. The reader to commenter ratio on this site is the best I have found it really is but if it is not home for you I can recommend a few other sites, just hang in there.
    I used to send a PM instead of posting in the forum because I didn't want people to make fun of what I said but I did truly care. Now I post in the forum so I hope you see that we do care.
    Well I don't want to repeat the PM here so I hope you reply here or there
    Hang on , it is gonna get better,
  5. BlondRedHead

    BlondRedHead Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the PM. I'm not REALLY complaining. It's just sometimes I don't get any responses and I needed some feedback or at least someone to let me know I'm not talking to myself. So thank you for caring enough to respond :) I do appreciate it.

    I just think sometimes you get so used to being negative and down that it ends up being a part of ur personality. I'm working on it.

    Thanks guys :)
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Glad that you don't want to die! I used to comment to just about everyone when I first started here, especially those that weren't getting many responses.

    I too am amazed at the number of "views" to comments ratio. When I first started here, on my first post, when I was really hurting it was something like 35 to 3. I remember it because I thought I'd get more of a response ratio.

    But then I contacted a very prominent member here and she explained that I should just keep posting and that eventually I would get some positive feedback. She was right.

    Also, I believe that most who have been here a long time have heard just about everything and they just can't respond to everyone. Also, some of the new folks don't know what to say yet. And "also" again, there are so many new threads started that they move quickly down the line and are less likely to be answered if they are further down or on the second page. The time zone you are in can also be a factor but since we are in the same time zone I will look for your posts.

    What has worked for me is that I asked a few select people who were responding if they minded a private message and almost all were open to them. That way you can make a few close contacts and/or friends who will give you feedback almost all the time.

    Start sending "friends" requests to those you feel most comfortable with and then you will see that they are more likely to respond to you.

    And since I have responded, you can count on me if you wish to send me a private message. I respond to all of those, unless I have a total brain freeze and forget.

    Oh, one more thing...I checked out a couple of other sites and the response to view ratio is just as low if not worse.

  7. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    just read, thought i'd post a hug
    just because i don't have much to say - hope you're okay
    :smile: keep strong :heart:
    triggs xx
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