The real me.

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Pink Teardrops, Dec 18, 2010.

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  1. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    I hurt as the blade punctures my skin
    I shake, tremble, fearing the pain
    Blood, rushing out, escaping the wounds
    Causing my arm to turn a crimson red

    I enjoy it, I love it
    I hate every single part of it
    I smile, and cry
    I feel enlightened
    I feel destroyed

    How could I have gone so low, to relapse again?
    Causing my body so much pain,
    Just so I can find some peace of mind

    The alcohol, the weed, the pills, the trips, the drugs
    It’s never enough to make me happy
    I’ve lost who I used to be
    Lost who I could have been

    Sober I’m sad

    But when I’m messed up
    That’s the only time I’m happy

    Where did I go wrong?

    Everyone’s begun to notice
    I’m not the same girl anymore
    Quiet, drifting away
    They try to ask what’s wrong
    But what can I say?

    I’m a fucking freak… Happy now?
    I smoke cigarettes, until I can’t breathe
    Just so I can die
    I drink until I black out
    Just because I hate to feel
    I smoke until I don’t know where I am
    Because I hate where I’m going
    I trip as much as I can
    Because I can’t stand reality
    I’m addicted to drugs
    So I can say I’m happy

    I’m losing everyone, and they’ve all lost me
    I’ve changed who I am, because I hate who I was
    And now… I hate myself even more

    The real me is sad, numb…
    But when I’m not who I really am
    And when I’m fucked up
    Life is just okay
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Eme sad...wish I could give you a real hug...J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    How sad your addictions have got you so badly I hope you can try to get into a rehab program to help you get off everything to heal and to find the real you again inside Someone who is caring and deserves to be loved take care.:cheekkiss:cheekkiss
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