The Reality of it all

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SomeguyUk, Oct 7, 2011.

  1. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    I hope that one day I can be happy, maybe all the bad things in my life have some greater purpose. I've stupidly fallen for someone who doesn't like me 'that way'. I look at myself in the mirror and put on a smile for the day but on the inside I am stuck in a crushing prison of depression. Nowadays it seems that no one likes the nice guy, I've never been one to say no to a person in need, because I find my happiest moments in life are when I am helping others. I've been told I am good looking by a quite a few girls and even some gay guys, I make people smile and laugh, so why am I alone? Is there such a thing as being too nice? I know people sometimes take advantage of me, and use my good nature to benefit themselves. Don't get me wrong I am not looking for attention, or praise, I just do what I do because that's who I am.

    As they say life without love is no life at all. To an extent I think its true. I've only just turned 20 and I want to 'settle down' to some extent, Just find that 'soul mate' I guess. Someone to connect with emotionally, someone who makes me happy by just being there. But it seems to be that being 20 is just about Sex drugs and clubbing, which I like but it just isn't me. I would happily sit and do nothing with someone I love over clubbing and dancing with random women.

    Perhaps there is no justice in the world. Good deeds will go on forgotten, the nice guys will finish last, which is sad. There's times when I just want to move on, end my life in a peaceful bliss, escape the crushing prison. But I'm rambling now so I shall end this by just saying; I love you all :) and if we do not meet in this life then perhaps I shall see you in the next.

    Peace
     
  2. BeautifullyChaotic

    BeautifullyChaotic Well-Known Member

    I'm a bit of a doormat, I do anything I can to help anyone who needs it and I get taken advantage of a lot because I don't say no. I'm a pushover and everyone knows it, so while people are talking badly about me behind my back, they are sweet to my face when they need something and I always feel like crap after, but I always do as I am asked.

    Very recently, an old "friend" who had always used me for whatever she could, but then was never her when I needed someone, asked me for some money. I stood up for myself, told her no, that I was sick of being used and then talked about like trash and I wouldn't tolerate it anymore, that I had washed my hand of her. The next thing she did was threaten to find me on here, SF, and get all the dirt she could on me to make everyone see what a bat-shit crazy piece of shit I really am. I freaked, had my name changed, some posts edited and my detailed journal set to private, which hurt because I get a lot of helpful feedback in PM when I post in my journal.
    So to answer your question, yes, it is possible to be too nice, and once you are seen as that person, if you try to change, people intentionally try to hurt you. You just can't let them, you have to stand up for yourself, take the blows and then watch as it goes away when they realize that they can't hurt you because you wont let them.
     
  3. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    That's quite sad that someone would do such a thing to you :( . And I can stand up for myself but I chose not to, I don't know really, If I'm honest you sound like a much stronger person than me.

    I do struggle some days though, I just sit there in my flat and break down, because I tend to bottle up all the bad things that happen to me and it gets too much. Thats why I wanted a close friend or fingers crossed, a loving girlfriend.
     
  4. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    So what? Not being loved back isn't a very big deal. It's nothing, really. You'll get over it, and maybe you'll even be friends. I'm being real here. It's not a big deal at all. I used to be that way, but really, it's not bad not being loved.

    Good, but don't be a doormat. Don't let people take advantage of you.

    Again, I feel I must drive the point in. Do. Not. Let. Others. Take. Advantage. Of. You. They will think you're weak. Show some strength.

    That, "Life without love is no life at all," thing is partial BS. If it's referring to exclusively romantic love, then it's definitely BS. You need to love yourself as well as the love of your family, if they're a good family. You'll find love eventually, you don't need a soul mate now. That's bullshit. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you want to settle down now? You don't want to stalk anyone. Don't approach any woman thinking they're going to be your soul mate and love you forever. That's asking for too much far too soon.

    Sometimes, I think you're sort of right. That, "Nice guys finish last," thing is BS as well. A lot of guys who think they're nice are kind of stalkerish jerks. Read this. It's tad hurtful, but also quite true. Even I didn't want to admit it at first. Even if you think you're quite a nice guy, you may be wrong. Not to say that there aren't tons of jerks out there who will treat you like shit, bully you, and still have tons of friends and such who love them. I've seen all of that shit before in high school and I'm already tired of it.

    Well, that fucking sucks. That woman sounds like a bitch (I almost hate using that word now). Good for you for standing up for yourself. I hate people like that. Was it really that bad?
     
  5. SomeguyUk

    SomeguyUk Active Member

    I appreciate the reality check, but I fear you mistake me for someone who gives for the sake of acceptance. This is partly true sometime but I do just give because I find happiness in giving. I do object to the stalkerish jerk comment, and I am aware that I have my entire life ahead of me, but people do want different things in life. You may want to live life now and blah blah blah whereas I would like to find someone who I could connect with be it friend or more, and I'm not asking for it to last forever I just think it would be nice to have such a person.

    I must point out that from the tone of what you wrote you do sound rather angry. Even though you may disagree with what I want and what I think, then all I can say is reality is a matter of perception. What I want in life may seem stupid to you, and vice versa.
     
  6. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    I think I can relate to that rather well. But I ain't giving for the sake of acceptance anymore.

    Good! I think that's what many of us here want as well. I still want that friend, too.

    It doesn't seem stupid to me. Really, it doesn't.

    Sorry for the assumptions, man.